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January/February 2008
The Way Women Give
Philanthropists respond to the question:
Do women give differently from men?
A woman’s role, as it has been traditionally defined throughout history, has been first and foremost nurturer, caregiver, volunteer. From the biblical Rebekah giving water to Abraham’s servant to Rebecca Gratz, one of America’s earliest Jewish female philanthropists, Jewish women have been brought up to give of their time and of their means, but until recently few have been at the forefront of modern philanthropy.
While no longer legally chained to their fathers’ or husbands’ ways of giving, centuries-long habits are engrained. There have been notable exceptions. Gratz, born into a wealthy Philadelphia family in 1781, helped pioneer and fund programs that supported poor women and children, and created the nation’s first Jewish school. She believed that philanthropic work was part of her contribution as a woman to society: Women should give of their time and of their means but always discreetly. More recently, businesswoman Florence Melton—inventor of the foam rubber Dearforms slipper—who died this year, made a bold mark by founding the adult Jewish education program that bears her name.
Now, for the first time, women are in control of money on a large scale, according to the Boston College Social Welfare Research Institute, making up 53 percent of the workforce with their net worth at nearly $2.3 trillion. And with the enormous generational shift that will take place in the next half century, a majority will fall into the hands of women, who regularly outlive men. This likely means more giving. One study, conducted by the Center for Women’s Business Research, found that 47 percent of women versus 39 percent of men feel giving is a moral obligation.
Still, women, Jewish and otherwise, have a reputation for giving less than men and are not sought after as mega-donors. There have been few studies conducted to determine the way women give, so Moment decided to plumb the philanthropic feminine mystique. We ask 19 of America’s most influential Jewish donors and donor professionals—of all generations—the question: Do women give differently from men, and if so, how?
It is a crucial question because more and more Jewish women, no longer content to be the invisible hand rocking the cradle, are beginning to redefine the rules of giving. Whether they are giving on their own, with their husbands, with their families or through women’s funding networks, they not only have the power to change the world but the means to do so.
—Karin Tanabe
Joan Beren
President, Joan S. Beren Foundation
Wichita, KS
If there is a difference between men and women, it is that men may give to buildings and institutions and women give to people. And women give more anonymous donations than men because they don’t want to draw attention to themselves.
Mark Charendoff
President, Jewish Funders Network
New York, NY
Women are more likely to have a broader and deeper level of experience in the not-for-profit sector. They know these groups, not just as grant makers, but as volunteers. They are far more empathetic to their needs and how to go about effecting change.
Barbara Dobkin
Head, Dobkin Family Foundation and board member, Women’s Funding Network
New York, NY
The Women in Philanthropy Institute at the University of Indiana determined that 80 percent of the time, women donate to organizations that they have strong feelings about, while men do so 60 percent of the time. Also, 80 percent of the Women’s Funding Network grants go to women and girls who are disproportionately impacted by poverty. Less than a third of mainstream philanthropy goes to the poor.
Edith Everett
CEO, Gruntal & Co., co-founder and president, Everett Family Foundation
New York, NY
Women are less driven to become board members and don’t strive for positions as men do. Nor do they care about their names on things as men do; they are more interested in outcomes. They want to see their money well spent.
Cherie Fox
Executive director, Fox Family Foundation
Jerusalem/St. Louis, MO
Women give in ways that are connected to how they build relationships. They want a strong relationship with an organization—more than just a conversation with a fundraiser.
Judith Fryer
Lawyer, Greenberg Traurig
Former chair, Women’s Executive Circle of UJA Federation of New York
New York, NY
Generally, women have been the primary person in the home, and haven’t donated until they are in their 50s and their kids are self-sufficient. The new generation is really focused. Women are giving gifts in their 20s and 30s. They have more freedom to integrate their personal lives and business lives.
Sharon Gelman
Board president, executive director, Artists for a New South Africa
Los Angeles, CA
Women are more sensitive to the complexity of giving, especially when it comes to social services. I think this comes from women running families. You can’t say “We will help you go to school” without knowing that a person will need help with childcare and transportation. Women know that problems don’t fit inside neat guidelines.
Sally Gottesman
Founder and president, The Eleemosynary Group,
New York, NY
I still think there is an issue of women giving large amounts of money. They exclude themselves and are excluded from big donations. I think that women are asked for smaller amounts of money and therefore don’t exert as much power. Sometimes women’s voices are silenced in major Jewish organizations. Many of the executives are men, so good partnerships don’t get forged as easily as they do with male donors. If women give to women’s causes they can be labeled as feminists and can feel marginalized.
Julie Hermelin
Film director, Los Angeles Chair, Reboot, Inc.,
Los Angeles, CA
When you get into issues of running your business and your household—I have three toddlers—philanthropy is very difficult. That’s why women tend to give where they are involved. Is it an inherent difference between men and women? I don’t know.
Laura Lauder
Venture philanthropist
Atherton, CA
The stereotype in philanthropy is that men donate to be in the limelight. Men and women both crave attention and recognition equally, women just ask for it less. Many men try to control and micro-manage but gender difference is diminished when the philanthropist is very serious and hands on.
The stereotype that men give more is not true in our family. I am the CEO of philanthropy in our family. We give away far more than my husband ever dreamed we’d give away. He trusts me 100 percent. We’re doing this while we are young—in our 30s and 40s—and he’s delighted.
Barbara Lee
President, Barbara Lee Family Foundation
Boston, MA
Women are definitely hands-on givers. They want to be inspired by an organization and its leaders. Often they want to give not only their financial resources but their time and their energy. Traditionally they have not been courted to donate as men have. Of the money that goes into politics, women have given 28 percent of contributions of $1000 or more. That is starting to change. Today women control 51 percent of the nation’s wealth and are starting to realize the impact that they can have politically and philanthropically. And women are more likely to be donors to an organization or a political candidate if it, he or she expresses their values and gives them hope that their concerns will be addressed.
Sue Lehmann
Chair, Youth Noise
New York, NY
Women who are ready to be donors think, “What do I really care about?” They come to it through wanting a feeling of reward and satisfaction that they have not experienced in the past. They don’t want to be involved superficially, they want to be active contributors who are valued for their skills, knowledge and expertise. Men are sometimes willing to just give their money and use their connections. Women are very conscious of access and connections, but that may not be the primary grabber.
Carrie Miller
Director, Planned Giving & Endowments, UJA-Federation of New York
New York, NY
Until they get comfortable in managing their money, women tend to be very fearful with finances. They’re concerned that they will outlive their money and if they do, the first thing to disappear will be their charitable giving. Women’s giving tends to come much more from a passion to the cause. Men are often caught up in the business approach. It’s the “you give to my organization and I’ll give to your organization and now let’s talk business” mentality. Women who have earned their own wealth take the reins much more but they still like to work as a collective. Few women like to step out individually as much as men do.
Diane Radin
President JCAA of Austin; Senior Lecturer, University of Texas Mathematics Department
Austin, TX
We are past the stage of “Oh, I have to ask my husband, he is the one who decides.” I’m 61, and from my generation down to the younger women, even if they are not out there earning, women see it as the family’s money and believe they can make philanthropic decisions. I think this is a climate change from the previous generation.
Deborah Ratner Salzberg
Director, Forest City Enterprises, Inc., President, Forest City Washington, Inc.
Washington, DC
I don’t know if differences in philanthropic giving are distinguished by gender. I don’t think there is a lot of difference between the way my father gives and the way I give. It’s more personality-driven than gender-driven. My dad and I have a soft spot; my brother has a soft spot, but he’s more analytical than we are.
Lauren Katzowitz Shenfield
Executive director, Philanthropy Advisors
New York, NY
Giving is less about ego for women and more about their place at the table. They want to be an equal partner in family giving and have the same access to family funds as the men do. Women are definitely thinking on a larger scale today, connecting to the networking groups that are grounded in large gifts that transform societies. They want to be networked and educated.
Lynn Schusterman
Founder and chair, Charles and Lynn Schusterman Family Foundation
Tulsa, OK
When my husband was alive we were a team. We made the money together and we gave it away together. Because we were partners in setting up the foundation, I feel a total partner; it is a part of who I am. There were two instances right after Charlie died where I was involved in making decisions about what and how we fund. To one I gave equally and the other I gave triple the amount of the other men who were involved. I had to bring men with me to the meeting to show that I meant what I said and said what I meant.
Jeff Solomon
President, the Andrea and Charles Bronfman Philanthropies
New York, NY
As women come to really understand the organization, they become more strategic in connecting to it and conducting their philanthropy to it. Many men don’t have the same attention span. Women are perceived as being much more thoughtful with their philanthropy while some men perceive it as another transaction. There may be some truth to these generalizations.
Lucia Sud
UJC National Women's Philanthropy Cabinet
Austin, TX
Today women have a stronger voice in how much they give, and you are seeing much more savvy women who are giving a lot more. Twenty-to-thirty percent of the UJC’s community money is raised from women. Nationally it is at 25 percent. Men give larger dollars but women’s communities are more organized. They will often be the first to start giving in their families and pull their husbands in.
—Interviews conducted by Karin Tanabe and Susan Fishman Orlins
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