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Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest

Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.

Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!

Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.

Submit a caption for this cartoon by February 20th by
writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!

Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!

“Let’s start in the beginning.”Adrian Storisteanu, Toronto, ON, Canada

“Your teacher tells me that you’re having an existential crisis.” — Andrea Chassen, Old Bridge, NJ

“You’ve outlived yet another registrar.” — Stephen Nadler, Princeton, NJ

Vote For Your Favorite Cartoon Caption

Vote for the winner of the November/December contest! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.

Chuckle at the Nov/Dec 2016 winning caption and see who wrote it!

There’s only enough Social Security for one of you.
Debby Prigal, Washington, DC

HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR CAPTION(S)

Submit as a comment below by February 20, 2016. Finalists will appear in the March/April 2017 issue. To vote for the winner of the September/October 2016 contest (see finalists above), use the “vote form.”

About Moment:  For more than four decades, Moment readers have participated in a spirited conversation about life from a Jewish perspective—a conversation that started more than 5,000 years ago. They like us because we’re different—we’re non-denominational, totally independent, and utterly committed to excellent journalism. We transcend ideology and allow for a genuine exchange of ideas. We’re always up-to-date in the latest in Jewish culture, politics and religion. Moment was founded in 1975 by Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Elie Wiesel and writer Leonard Fein. Its editor and publisher today is journalist Nadine Epstein.

214 comments

  1. Gerald Lebowitz

    Welcome to Sadie Hawkins Day for Seniors! Sir, you get a head start. Remember, if she catches up to you at any point in the race, you have to marry her!

  2. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You were supposed to start running 15 minutes ago when I fired the first shot!”

  3. On your mark . . . get set . . . shuffle!

  4. False start, hearing aids are missing!

  5. And let the 2016 Democratic Primary begin!

  6. Gerald S Kirzner

    It’s the beginning of another New Year so once again let’s race Shoshana!

  7. Gerald S Kirzner

    It’s the beginning of another New Year so once again let’s race Shoshana!!

  8. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Go! Remember, just getting up is half the race!”

  9. With age comes wisdom but the memory fails..where are we?

  10. Adrian Storisteanu

    That pop in my ears, again.

  11. Oy, the getting down was ok. Can you help me up when you hear him fire? I can’t see him.

  12. Gerald Lebowitz

    “On your marks, get set, stand!”

  13. Gerald Lebowitz

    “On your marks, get ready, get set … STAND!”

  14. Adrian Storisteanu

    “So what are we looking for?”

  15. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You folks really don’t have to get up if you don’t want to.”

  16. “The next time you gotta go, just go!”

  17. Richard lipman

    Ok I’m out of bullets. Try the PA system.

  18. Richard Goldstein

    Instead of shooting off that gun, he should say a prayer.

  19. Martin A. Schechter

    “Go already.”

  20. Martha did you hear something?

  21. David Lieberman

    The first one to cross the starting line wins!

  22. prasidha ramnathan

    The race for life begins…!!!!

  23. Oops. Was that me or you?

  24. Gerald Lebowitz

    “One of you will be the hands down winner of this race.”

  25. NOVICES OVERVIEW: If you are new to physical fitness,
    or see yourself as a beginner, this is where you must start.

  26. “There is only enough Social Security for one of you.”

  27. Marian Blanton

    C’mon… let’s show them what two old farts can do!

  28. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Remember, slow and steady wins the race. The hare will start running two months from now.”

  29. Michael A. Parsnick

    It looks like grandma has a nose up as we begin the race.

  30. Henry W. Kimmel

    First one to stand up wins. Go!

  31. Feigue Cieplinski

    If you loose don’t bring up the woman card !

  32. Adrian Storisteanu

    “Get ready, oy vey, go!”

  33. “Run if you must mom and dad, but I’m still taking you to a marriage counselor.”

  34. “On your mark, get set,…complain!”

  35. “Sorry, you’ll just have to run without your contact lenses.”

  36. BILLIE JEAN KING – BOBBY RIGGS REMATCH, 2016.

  37. The first one to cross the Start line, wins”

  38. “The first one to cross the start-line, wins.”

  39. “On you mark, get set, put your hearing aides in, and I’ll shoot the gun again.”

  40. “Stop saying, ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up,’ and start running.”

  41. “If you forget where you’re going just follow the white lines.”

  42. “No, you’re at the finish line, you’ve just started.”

  43. Richard Johnson

    On your March, Get set, (bang) hobble!!

  44. Richard Johnson

    Really Margarett again?!, you can have the remote!

  45. Betty, did you hear the starter pistol, I forgot my hearing aids.

  46. Gerald Lebowitz

    “It’s the race to call attention to daylight savings time–spring forward, fall back!”

  47. “No, you’re not at the finish line, you’ve just started.”

  48. The fifty yard dash is followed by the triple bypass.

  49. “Okay, let’s see how you roll!”

  50. “You may begin the 20 yard schlep!”

  51. “With this race we launch the Turner Classic Sports channel!”

  52. “And now, to finally settle who was the better catch in 1954…”

  53. “And the winner gets permanent control of the remote!”

  54. I said, “THE GUN WENT OFF!!!”

  55. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Remember what I said: keep your noses to the ground and don’t let yourselves be distracted by anything.”

  56. Gerald Lebowitz

    “This is a great way to celebrate your 75th anniversary and to finally determine which one of you is in better shape after all those years together!”

  57. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Remember the rules: no pushing, no shoving, no cursing and no yelling are allowed.”

  58. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You two were the winners of the front crawl swimming competition for seniors. Now we’ll see how you do on dry land.”

  59. I’m sorry but your too old to Make America Great Again….

  60. Believe it or not, but before the 2016 election, I was 27 years old…….

  61. Where do you see yourself in 2000 years?

  62. “I need you to stop turning the other students into pillars of salt.”

  63. Gerald Lebowitz

    “G-d knows why you’re so depressed. That’s why you should be consulting Yourself instead of me.”

  64. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I suggest that you go back to doing what you’ve always been doing; just don’t read any more of Christopher Hitchins.”

  65. Gerald Lebowitz

    “By this time you should know that you can’t please everybody. Some people are even holding you reponsible for Trump’s victory. You’ve simply got to develop a thicker skin.”

  66. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You simply have to move on with your life. The first step is to turn your cap around so that it faces front.”

  67. Gerald Lebowitz

    “If even you are questioning whether life has meaning, how are the rest of us supposed to feel?”

  68. I realize you’ve been her longer than any of us Joey, but there is no retirement plan for students. Perhaps it’s time to move on.

  69. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Perhaps you should consider changing your major from religion to philosophy.”

  70. I know you mean well, however you are regularly meeting with students, offering them sage advice, and this will replace my job!

    You are facing serious charges: we can’t contact your parents, we need your home address, and it appears you are holding weekly student classes regarding religion, ethics and morals!

  71. Methuselah, if you don’t pick up your academic progress and graduate you won’t pay off your student loan until you are 696 years old.

  72. “I think you’re having a mid-eternity crisis.”

  73. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I know you feel terribly guilty for all the suffering your wrath has caused, but everybody loses control once in a while.”

  74. Gerald Lebowitz

    “How many more centuries are you going to continue to beat yourself up over losing your temper that one time and flooding the whole earth? It’s over already and time to move on.”

  75. Feigue Cieplinski

    I am younger than you, there is no way I can guide you to turn your life around.
    Do you have any advice for me?

  76. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I know that you were quoted as saying to Moses, ‘I am that I am,’ but that doesn’t mean you can’t be better.”

  77. timothy busam

    I need help with a student.

  78. timothy busam

    I’m sorry you came all the way down here, but I can’t help you.

  79. So where do you see your career in 5 years?

  80. Don’t you think it is about time get over it?

  81. I know you want to play football, but the No Pass/No Play law is still in effect.

  82. Theodore Jakim

    Sir, we’re going to have to talk about your new ‘hip’ method of teaching children history.

  83. Adrian Storisteanu

    I’ll propose, alright. You dispose, though…

  84. Adrian Storisteanu

    Omnipresence or not, you *should* consider a Facebook account.

  85. Adrian Storisteanu

    Let’s start in the beginning.

  86. Adrian Storisteanu

    Oh-My-You, six days that’s all?

  87. So that’s where that started.

  88. The next 5,000 years of conversation begins here.

  89. Don’t you want something more than auto shop?

  90. Drop the cat, already.

  91. I’m sorry, but everybody needs Phys Ed.

  92. This will be our first participation medal

  93. I’m not sure being a shepherd is a wise career decision.

  94. If you want to be more popular chuck the cap and get a staff.

  95. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You’re accused of failing three existentialists who somehow showed up in your religion class.”

  96. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You can’t just be one of the boys; you’re the boss, for god’s sake.”

  97. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Too young to retire, too old for Hillel; you’ve got a problem.”

  98. Martin Schechter

    “There’s not much of a future in prophecy.”

  99. Judith Weinroth

    Holy Moses! After 40 years of wandering, you’re finally asking for directions?

  100. Stuart J Moskovitz

    My mother sends me down the river, my brother gets to be the high priest, when is it going to be about me?

  101. “So, I heard you got high on Christmas.”

  102. Andrea Chassen

    Here is my suggested caption for the cartoon published in Moment’s November-December issue:

    “Sharing your tablets with Moses isn’t an excuse for not turning in your assignments, Hashem.”

  103. “Look, these Aptitude tests give us a ballpark analysis at best. Perhaps you could pursue a career in hospitality.”

  104. Andrea Chassen

    Your teacher tells me that you’re having an existential crisis.

  105. Christina Anton

    Three Hail Marys and an Our Father should do it.

  106. Rochelle Day Smith

    “You moonlighting? Kris Kringle my tush….You resemble my Synagogue’s Rabbi!, Shlomo Moshe! Gavalt!

  107. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Should I continue to dispense advice to students or admit that I’m a fraud and move on?”

  108. “After much thought, the three of you should triple major at the college of your choice.”

  109. Harold Ticktin

    Don’t you think a kippah would be better for time travel?

  110. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You can’t be seen walking around campus looking so depressed. You, above all, have to protect your image.”

  111. Adrian Storisteanu

    I don’t recommend getting another Job.

  112. “I’ve narrowed your major to Accounting or Omnipotence. Either way, you gotta lose the hat.”

  113. ” Taking advanced philosophy would be good for your career”

    OR

    “You graduated a long time ago. Now its my turn to give advice”

  114. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I understand why you’re in such a funk. When you come right down to it, nobody really wants to be God.”

  115. Gerald Lebowitz

    “When you played hide and seek as a child and nobody found you, how did that make you feel?”

  116. “Where do you see yourself thirty years ago?”

  117. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Maybe you can let there be some light on your condition so that I can understand it.”

  118. “On the other hand, you could just—you know—abide.”

  119. “For you, I wouldn’t recommend any six-year programs.”

  120. “Drop out today and the school will name a lounge for you.”

  121. “It seems we lost your transcript in the Windows 98 upgrade.”

  122. “It isn’t fair, but we’re not bringing back Lyre Studies.”

  123. “You’ve outlived yet another registrar.”

  124. ” Stop handing in your work on papyrus.”

  125. “Nonconformity is overrated.”

  126. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Cheer up. Most of us feel exiled from our promised land.”

  127. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Moses, old boy, I suggest that you take the two tablets you were prescribed. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

  128. “It’s quite understandable that you would have a superiority complex.”

  129. Gerald Lebowitz

    “What do you think I should do with my life?”

  130. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I used to worship you. Now I see that you have feet of clay.”

  131. Now is a good time to consider politics, since you have a “big head” and “hands!”

  132. ron barailloux

    bad news is people are accusing you of being on drugs… the goodnews is the chicago cubs called.

  133. I need to understand why are they rejecting me for CEO post ?

  134. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Now he’s a rabbi. I remember when he first started as a snowflake.”

  135. Gerald Lebowitz

    “He’s praying for global warming to end.”

  136. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Keep your voice down. Reb Frosty is davening.”

  137. Gerald Lebowitz

    “He’s a baal teshuvah.”

  138. “You can say, Thank G-d for mot making me a woman or a man.”

  139. “You can say, Thank G-d for not making me a woman or a man.”

  140. ” Let’s find enough kids to make a minyan.”

  141. Adrian Storisteanu

    “We did it, snowballs *and* matzah balls.”

  142. Adrian Storisteanu

    “Here, converted.”

  143. Adrian Storisteanu

    “Great snowmensh.”

  144. Marilyn Kagan

    Look, Sis, an ice Jewish boy!

  145. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Let’s try to get a minyan together before he melts.”

    (Stephen Nadler deserves credit for this; I just tweaked his great line. Thanks.)

  146. Heather Wolfe

    It’s okay. I’m sure G-d will understand why you can’t say the prayer for rain!

  147. “I think he can finish the Amidah before the sun shines!”

  148. Gerald Lebowitz

    Mr. Storisteanu, I have to admit that your take on Mr. Nadler’s caption is much better than mine. Mine is too literal. Yours leaves room for the imagination. If this had been a chess match, I would say that I had been checkmated.

    • Adrian Storisteanu

      It’s a wonderful work of collaboration. Each new step is based on the previous one. I’m looking forward to seeing the next incremental improvement… 🙂

  149. Here in Montana, we need all the Jews we can find…

  150. My parents put a paper menorah in the window. I did this.

  151. There must have been some magic in that odd kipah we found,
    For when we placed it on his head, he began to be profound.

  152. There must have been some magic in my zeyde’s old kipah,
    For when we placed it on his head, he began to read Torah.

  153. I appreciate your piety, but I’m afraid that global warming is now I evitable.

  154. I appreciate your piety, but I’m afraid that global warming is now inevitable.

  155. henry einhorn

    Only 7 to go for our minyan.

  156. “You’re sure carrots are kosher?”

  157. “No, he won’t come back to life if he melts.”

  158. “Thou shalt not tell Rabbi Chaim we borrowed a few things.”

  159. Gerald Lebowitz

    “He’s not Jewish; he’s wearing a winter hat and scarf and reading about the life of Donald Trump.”

  160. Gerald Lebowitz

    “He may be davening, but that’s not a Jewish nose.”

  161. Do you think he will stay until Purim?

  162. It’s time to add his chutzpah.

  163. Now we need a circumcised carrot.

  164. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I don’t think he’s Orthodox. He’s not wearing tzitzit.”

  165. Gerald Lebowitz

    All of us here are like jazz musicians riffing on a theme, trying to create new variations of the melody we’re given. (At least that’s what it seems to me.)

    • Adrian Storisteanu

      And this has been initiated by way, Gerald, in this very thread! A *great* idea, in my opinion. It makes the entire enterprise far more interesting and fun than the “New Yorker” caption contest, where this possibility doesn’t exist.

      (It also appears to me that snowmen and Jewish matters go well together!? It’s the most active thread I’ve seen so far…)

      • Adrian Storisteanu

        (I meant to write “by you” — referring in particular to the few tweaks to previous caption entries. Though I understand you refer, more generally, to the entire thing taking place here.)

  166. Adrian Storisteanu

    “But no aliyah for this guy.”

  167. Gerald Lebowitz

    P. S. The group playing here does come up with fine music. Thanks.

  168. Don’t worry about the “Gates of Hell,” because you are frozen in time!

  169. The Rabbi said that Tzitzit made of icicles are not technically kosher.

  170. I admit he’s a bit unorthodox.

  171. He has two eyes made out of Kol Nidre.

  172. It’s alright. I froze at my Bar Mitzvah too.

  173. “Will this Jew just melt away?”

  174. I’m sorry but there is nothing in the Book of Leviticus about the circumcision ritual for snowmen.

  175. Shmule,,Rebbe Isaacson left our cold cuts inside the igloo shule.

  176. “What’s the matter tottellas, you never saw a frozen Rabbi before?”

  177. “Rebbe, Rebbe, we have sinned! We killed four Snow Priests..”

  178. What. Is the little cap for?@ It is religious.
    What religion? It doesn’t matter.

  179. Gerald Lebowitz

    ” ‘Sno use. He just prays. He won’t answer any questions.”

  180. Five more pages and we can finally eat.

  181. Snowman cartoon caption: “Funny…you don’t LOOK Jewish.”

  182. Gerald Lebowitz

    ” ‘Sno use. He won’t talk to us. He only davens.”

  183. May his memory be a blessing and never melt away.

  184. Gerald Lebowitz

    “He’s very warmhearted, though.”

  185. “No, No! It’s Chosen, not frozen!!”

  186. Donald Stanziano

    Keep it brief. You’re melting.

  187. “Hear O’ Snowmen, the Lord our God, the Lord is One”

  188. “It’s okay. The president didn’t ignore the question. He just didn’t understand it.”

  189. arnold aberman

    COME ON ICEMAN! CAN’T YOU FIND THE ANSWERS TO THE “FOUR QUESTIONS”??

  190. arnold aberman

    “ICEMAN, BETTER FINISH DAVENING BEFORE YOUR KIPUT FALLS OFF!!

  191. arnold aberman

    “ICEMAN, CAN I JOIN YOUR BOOK CLUB?”

  192. “Kindella., I need the ‘gelt’ BEFORE I melt!”

  193. “I think I’m getting the cold shoulder.”

  194. “I made him frum, but he could still drift.”

  195. Gerald Lebowitz

    To Ellen Keller, thanks for your wonderful couplets (“There must have been some magic …”). They introduce the novel idea that cartoon captions don’t always have to conform to a “New Yorker” type of funny. Why can’t they, for example, illustrate a philosophy or point out some of the common perplexities of life instead of just being gags? Following your lead, I’ve redone a previous entry as two lines meant not to produce a smile but to try to reach a deeper truth, as you more effectively have.

    “It’s true he’s made of ice and snow.
    But, you know, I feel the warmth below.”

    Thanks again.

  196. Gerald Lebowitz

    There’s a great book that’s just come out by the 88-year-old cartoonist/illustrator Ed Sorel called “Mary Astor’s Purple Diary” about a 1936 scandal involving the actress (she was in “The Maltese Falcon,” among other films). It’s not a graphic novel or a biography but a mixture of the two forms showing the power of illustration to tell a story much better than words or pictures could alone. Sorel also interjects himself and his own marriages and career into the story he tells. After you read this book, you realize that the power of cartoons is often wasted, I think, in being used only to support a gag. (Thanks for reading this commercial, if you’ve gotten this far.)

  197. The above fib re Mary Astor is too graphic for my brain to absorb.

  198. Rabbi, Yaacov and I saw mommy kissing an uncircumsized Snowman!

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