Thursday , 24 April 2014
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Moment Cartoon Caption Contest

Click image to enlarge Caption Contest In each issue, we publish a cartoon drawn by New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff. Suggested captions for this cartoon must be submitted as a comment (“reply” at the bottom of this page) by April 10, 2014. Finalists will appear in the March/April 2014 issue. To vote for the winner of the January/February 2014 contest (see finalists above), use the “vote form,” below. To view Moment‘s past Cartoon Caption Contest winners and finalists, click here.

Vote For Your Favorite Cartoon Caption

Vote for the winner of the November/December contest! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.

79 comments

  1. “Mr. Nobel Prize can’t find the bathroom.”

  2. That’s some schtick.

  3. He likes to walk softly and carry a big schtick.

  4. “He’s preparing to defend his theory.”

  5. Donald Glassner

    1. He has his own way of looking for oil here in Israel.

  6. Donald Glassner

    He has his own way of looking for oil here in Israel.

  7. Donald Glassner

    It’s his own way to find a date for Saturday night.

  8. “Don’t laugh, he found Israel’s natural gas…”

    or

    Wood, Yud…Goood.

  9. “He says it works even better than JDate.”

  10. Barnett Parker

    My submitted caption for this month’s Mankoff cartoon is:

    ‘……and…..it comes with a lifetime guarantee of compliant neighbors.’

  11. “Charleton Heston slept here.”

  12. Henry W. Kimmel

    For tank:

    “Yes, he used to be in the Israeli Army, why do you ask?”

  13. Good defenses make good neighbors.

  14. Pros: 360 degree views! Cons: the view is through crosshairs. What can I say? The real estate market is tanking!

  15. It belonged to Golda Meir and she only drove it on Sundays.

  16. At least you won’t have to pay for alarm service.

  17. craig feldman

    Let me check with code enforcement.

  18. This listing features the last version of the Iron Dome.

  19. This is the Outlet site for the Israeli Tank Museum

  20. It kicks kibbutz.

  21. It comes with it’s own VFW.

  22. “This is going to blow you away.”

  23. “I think ‘cozy’ is the word you’re looking for.”

  24. “The seller is willing to throw in a hundred rounds of ammo.”

  25. “Now let’s say an obnoxious neighbor decides to plant a smelly ginkgo tree….”

  26. “It once belonged to Michael Dukakis, but he only took it out during campaigns.”

  27. “I’m afraid the contract is also ironclad.”

  28. “Be the only family in town never to fear a home invasion.”

  29. Jamie Bornstein

    “It’s to die for.”

  30. There’s a few more dotted along this street.

  31. Let me show you a round.

  32. Truthfully? I’d steer clear of a bidding war.

  33. “Now if it’s southern exposure AND firepower that you’re looking for…”

  34. “This little bungalow speaks for itself–’location, location, firepower!’”

  35. It was only used one day during the three day war!

  36. If you buy today, for you, I’ll throw in a marble rye!

  37. You can pretty much park it where ever you want!

  38. A concealed-carry permit shouldn’t be an issue!

  39. “Do you have any sage advice for an eager, wide-eyed philosophy major?”

  40. “Our graduate would be grateful for any tips–other than, of course, ‘Plastics.’”

  41. “Gail plans to just keep partying and see how that goes.”

  42. “Now Edie figures she’ll sit back and let the dollars roll in.”

  43. “Amy is hoping to find a job just like yours, only more stimulating.”

  44. “Sarah feels it’s time to cash in on her diploma.”

  45. “Our Connie is thinking of a career in poetry.”

  46. “Sid, do you know which hedge funds are hiring?”

  47. “Emily’s willing to do a job like yours for next to nothing.”

  48. “Beth is eager to break through the glass ceiling.”

  49. “Guess what? Deirdre is going to write about soy.”

  50. “Sandy is looking for something lucrative in blogging.”

  51. “Allison isn’t much interested in work per se.”

  52. “Jackie is seeking a career path to early retirement.”

  53. “Leah has decided to join the 1%.”

  54. Walter Borenstein

    “Yes, you now need a college degree to move into your parents’ basement.”

  55. Walter Borenstein

    “Yes, you now need a degree to move into your parents’ basement”"

  56. “She makes a beautiful brisket and she got straight A’s at Barnard, class of 1988.”

  57. William Agress

    At $60,000 a year did you really think we were only going to let her wear it once?

  58. William Agress

    She was a triple major: pre-law, pre-med, and pre-occupied.

  59. “You may not remember me, but we met about 22 years ago.”

  60. Marvin Beckerman

    Professor, now that she’s graduated, can you teach her some common sense?

  61. Tell Lisa your life story; she studied abnormal psychology.

  62. Lisa graduated with honors and didn’t even cheat.

  63. “This is my daughter who was just elected to become a Supreme Court Judge. Her brother is my son the doctor.”

  64. She’s shy but willing to do anything. Just ask me.

  65. suanne scherr

    Meet my single daughter the doctor.

  66. Obviously, we will have the diploma framed by wedding day.

  67. David Gambach

    “Now she is ready for her ‘Mrs.’ Degree.”

  68. She’s not a graduate but she’s interested in playing one on TV.

  69. She just graduated suma cum laude with her PhD in Jewish Studies, so if you know anyone with job opening….

  70. Oh, she thought you said you’d like some DIPLOMA with your chips.

  71. I hope you’re enjoying the party Professor. Now about that “C” Lisa got last semester….

  72. Cheryl is minoring in mixology so she’ll be making your drinks this evening.

  73. Yes. Dr. Epstein, she’s pre-med which means she’s hoping to meet someone just like you.

  74. We hired her to be your nightcap and gown for after the party.

  75. He’s your son too dear and if this is how he wishes to dress for his graduation party, we should accept that.

  76. Plastics? Just exactly how do you mean ?

  77. Do you really think there is still such a great future in plastics?

  78. Magna cum Lauder? Summa cum Lauder? It’s all just cosmetics really.

  79. It seems like only yesterday that we were paying $25,000 per year for her kindergarten. Look at her now!

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