Tuesday , 22 July 2014
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Moment Cartoon Caption Contest

Click image to enlarge Caption Contest In each issue, we publish a cartoon drawn by New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff. Suggested captions for this cartoon must be submitted as a comment (“reply” at the bottom of this page) by June 10, 2014. Finalists will appear in the July/August issue. To vote for the winner of the March/April 2014 contest (see finalists above), use the “vote form,” below. To view Moment‘s past Cartoon Caption Contest winners and finalists, click here.

Vote For Your Favorite Cartoon Caption

Vote for the winner of the November/December contest! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.


  1. Barbara Berman

    caption for may-june 2014 cartoon:
    ‘i told you never to call me at home!’

  2. We’re having a staycation.
    (For May-June 2014)

  3. Of course we’ll love each other till death do us part.
    (For May-June 2014)

  4. Hi Commissioner Silver, Donald Sterling here. Give my wife the Clippers!

  5. Hello, Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership? I think I want my dues back.

  6. Pencil me in, I’ll get back to you later.

  7. Lawrence Wood

    “Sorry, I missed that last part.”

  8. Lawrence Wood

    “I’m sorry, Mrs. Rosen. We didn’t realize it was so late.”

  9. “Sorry, we’ll use the silencers.”

  10. William Agress

    Hello Rabbi Adler? Yes, I’ll give her the Get.

  11. William Agress

    Take my wife, please.

  12. Dannah Rubinstein

    “Apparently, she finally read the ketubah…”

  13. Lawrence Wood

    “We agree on nothing but the Second Amendment.”

  14. How could I know she’d load REAL slugs into her piece??

  15. He who marries a woman that shoots from the hip should always be prepared for the unexpected.

  16. Cancel that second pizza.

  17. Lawrence Wood

    “We can’t afford a divorce.”

  18. I’m sorry a out your cat, Mrs. Simmons, but these are thin walls.

  19. Oh yeah, I forgot the safety.

  20. I’m sorry about your cat, Mrs. Simmons, but these are thin walls.

    (Sorry, typo earlier…)

  21. You’ll get your rent after we cash in an insurance policy.

  22. NRA Anonymous?

  23. Sometimes marriage is a blessing but right now it’s a sacrifice.

  24. Donald Glassner

    “It’s way past her wanting the remote.”

  25. Richard Kochman

    She said early retirement would kill me. Who knew?

  26. All she needed was a little encouragement.

  27. Let me call you back, I’m reloading.

  28. I’d like to call a lifeline.

  29. It all started with a friendly warning shot.

  30. Mike Schattman

    “Property division? Well … no. I think we have reached an impasse over the sofa.”

  31. Jeffery L. Yablon

    “I’d like the number of Dr. Samuel Ginsberg. . . . He’s listed under “Family Counseling.”

  32. “No, I said she is shooting with my paintballs”

  33. “In the Mossad, we call this date night.”

  34. Richard Klein

    “I change my mind. Cancel the pizza order.”

  35. “She’s standing her ground, and I’m standing mine.”

  36. “I might actually have a better chance of living without her.”

  37. Lawrence Wood

    “I no longer want my wife to be the beneficiary.”

  38. Lawrence Wood

    “Oh, nothing. What are you doing?”

  39. “I did so tell her about us.”

  40. Lawrence Wood

    “Sorry, we’ll try to keep it down.”

  41. Lawrence Wood

    “They were anniversary gifts–His and Hers.”

  42. Clinton Guthrie

    Oh, hi Ruth. You’ll be happy to know that your daughter’s finally taking your advice.

  43. “We’ll be a little late to the peace rally.”

  44. stanley flemmings

    “Hello! I don’t have a lot of time! Listen, I need to cancel my life insurance policy! It’s urgent!”

  45. “…non-smoking, please… double occupancy… two nights. Do you have anything near the nurse’s station?”

  46. “Can I call you back in five rounds?”

  47. “Let me get back to you in a couple of rounds.”

  48. “In retrospect, we should never have given up coffee cold turkey.”

  49. “Good evening. Earp residence.”

  50. “Quick–was today Amy’s birthday?”

  51. “I’m putting you on speaker. Please ask your daughter to hear me out.”

  52. “Did I ever happen to mention where I hid the ammo?”

  53. “How dare you call me on Shabbat?”

  54. “How dare you call us on Shabbat?”

  55. “Remember your suggestion that we spice things up with some role-playing?”

  56. Mr. Mankoff, it’s Neil from the cartoon — you forgot to load mine.

  57. A limited time offer? How limited?

  58. She’s demanding to speak to the President. And kneepads! She wants kneepads!

  59. Uh, Gary, remember I said one day Fern would come crawling back to me on her knees…?

  60. I’m sorry, I’m with a patient right now.

  61. We’re playing “Cops and Robbers”, what are you doing?

  62. My wife watches “24,” and obviously loves Jack Bauer more than me. drmrs 7/18/2014 Rockville, MD

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