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Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest

Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.

Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!

Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.

Submit a caption for this cartoon by April 20th by
writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!

 

Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!

 

“Look, sis, an ice Jewish boy!” — Marilyn Kagan, Providence, RI

“There must have been some magic in that odd kippah we found, For when we placed it on his head, he began to be profound.”— Ellen Keller, Andover, MA

“It’s all right. I froze at my bar mitzvah too.”— Randy Getz, Baltimore, MD

Vote For Your Favorite Cartoon Caption

Vote for the winner of the January/February 2017 contest! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.

Chuckle at the Nov/Dec 2016 winning caption and see who wrote it!

“Your teacher tells me that you’re having an existential crisis.”
Andrea Chassen, Old Bridge, NJ

HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR CAPTION(S)

Submit as a comment below by April 20, 2017. Finalists will appear in the May/June 2017 issue. To vote for the winner of the January/February 2017 contest (see finalists above), use the “vote form.”

About Moment:  For more than four decades, Moment readers have participated in a spirited conversation about life from a Jewish perspective—a conversation that started more than 5,000 years ago. They like us because we’re different—we’re non-denominational, totally independent, and utterly committed to excellent journalism. We transcend ideology and allow for a genuine exchange of ideas. We’re always up-to-date in the latest in Jewish culture, politics and religion. Moment was founded in 1975 by Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Elie Wiesel and writer Leonard Fein. Its editor and publisher today is journalist Nadine Epstein.

101 comments

  1. Gerald Lebowitz

    Welcome to Sadie Hawkins Day for Seniors! Sir, you get a head start. Remember, if she catches up to you at any point in the race, you have to marry her!

  2. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You were supposed to start running 15 minutes ago when I fired the first shot!”

  3. On your mark . . . get set . . . shuffle!

  4. False start, hearing aids are missing!

  5. And let the 2016 Democratic Primary begin!

  6. Gerald S Kirzner

    It’s the beginning of another New Year so once again let’s race Shoshana!

  7. Gerald S Kirzner

    It’s the beginning of another New Year so once again let’s race Shoshana!!

  8. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Go! Remember, just getting up is half the race!”

  9. With age comes wisdom but the memory fails..where are we?

  10. Adrian Storisteanu

    That pop in my ears, again.

  11. Oy, the getting down was ok. Can you help me up when you hear him fire? I can’t see him.

  12. Gerald Lebowitz

    “On your marks, get set, stand!”

  13. Gerald Lebowitz

    “On your marks, get ready, get set … STAND!”

  14. Adrian Storisteanu

    “So what are we looking for?”

  15. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You folks really don’t have to get up if you don’t want to.”

  16. “The next time you gotta go, just go!”

  17. Richard lipman

    Ok I’m out of bullets. Try the PA system.

  18. Richard Goldstein

    Instead of shooting off that gun, he should say a prayer.

  19. Martin A. Schechter

    “Go already.”

  20. Martha did you hear something?

  21. David Lieberman

    The first one to cross the starting line wins!

  22. prasidha ramnathan

    The race for life begins…!!!!

  23. Oops. Was that me or you?

  24. Gerald Lebowitz

    “One of you will be the hands down winner of this race.”

  25. NOVICES OVERVIEW: If you are new to physical fitness,
    or see yourself as a beginner, this is where you must start.

  26. “There is only enough Social Security for one of you.”

  27. Marian Blanton

    C’mon… let’s show them what two old farts can do!

  28. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Remember, slow and steady wins the race. The hare will start running two months from now.”

  29. Michael A. Parsnick

    It looks like grandma has a nose up as we begin the race.

  30. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Did you hear the one about the rabbi and the bishop who walk into a bar?”

  31. Gerald Lebowitz

    “There’s a famous joke about us, but I’ve forgotten the punchline.”

  32. NU?? HOW IS YOUR BUSINESS?????????????

  33. Joel Guggenheimer

    My cartoon caption is:. “I have a confession to make. I’m not Amish.”

  34. Jonathan Schreiber

    You think this is some kind of joke?

  35. Let’s keep our secret drinking under our hats !

  36. “Sorry, there’s no punchline until the Oman gets here.”

  37. We’re waiting for the minister to show up so we can start the joke.

  38. Adrian Storisteanu

    “You call this a cliché?”

  39. “So the Devil asks me ‘How would you like to spend the rest of eternity waiting for Godot in an Irish pub in the company of the Archbishop of Reams? …’.”

  40. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Liquor is quicker, but I and the vicar
    Have things to discuss, and much time.
    That’s why we have chosen
    These sodas ambrosian,
    Made luscious by adding fresh lime.”

  41. Marian Blanton

    When you come to town, Your Honor, I treat with KOSHER beer!

  42. We were supposed to meet a minister here. Have you seen him?

  43. leonard hirsch

    have you heard the one about the rabbi and the priest in a bar?

  44. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I’m glad that you could meet me here. It would be very embarrassing for me to be seen going to your place for confession.”

  45. “Another round and no funny business.”

  46. “Domestic? You must be joking.”

  47. “And two more for the lawyer and the nun.”

  48. Stu Ostrowsky

    Nu, we finally agree–Jesus was a nice Jewish boy.

  49. Archie and I agree that everyone you meet on the way up in politics, you will meet on the way down.

  50. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Bartender, my friend and I are determined to stay here until we finally resolve the question of whether man does have free will.”

  51. “My people don’t know from Happy Hour.”

  52. Jonathan Schreiber

    Then, just like that, she left me. Can you believe it?

  53. So what do you expect? We can’t spend our money on wild women, so we come here to drink away our miserable free time.

  54. Robert D. Diamant

    Paddy m’lad.
    Please be sure our drinks have been sanctioned by the Vaad Harabonim and that the the hechsher is available for inspection. The bishop demands no compromise with regards to Halacha.

    A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar…..

  55. RICHARD ZERBE

    This is ecumenical holy water

  56. “Now that I’ve put the vicar away let’s have a shooter of Mezcal with each round until the bishop here goes down.”

  57. “This reminds me of a joke I once heard…”

  58. Dennis Keesey

    “Do you do counselling?”

  59. Rabbi: “A rabbi, a priest, and an imam walk into a bar.”
    Priest: “Where’s the imam?”
    Rabbi: “He’s invited. He doesn’t drink…A rabbi, a priest and a bartender walk into a bar.”

  60. Adrian Storisteanu

    “The imam, he’s minding the store.”

  61. Feigue Cieplinski

    Priest:” We both have sinned we come to find grace in this place.”

  62. Freddie McCann

    A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and the bartender asks where the Baptist minister is. They both tell him that he is coming in the back way because Baptists do not know about the wedding where Jesus turned water into wine
    And then toasted the bride and groom.

  63. This schmendrik just bet me a beer that you’d say bacon is better than sex.

  64. I thought Happy Hour would never end.

  65. He’ll have a ‘Sex on the Beach’, hold the beach.

  66. Shalom Beer tastes like Goyisha Pish?

  67. Your Excellency, why you order Israeli beer, Irish beer should be more your speed.

  68. Alex Stolarski

    The Imam will not be coming, he does not drink alcohol

  69. “No more for me. I have a bris in an hour.”

  70. Bruce S Trachtenberg

    You have a job because of one of our boys. The beer is on you.

  71. Mike parsnick

    Did you hear the one about the nun, rabbanit, and the beautician?

  72. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Can you believe it? My ex-wife just got her support payments increased.”

  73. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Your kids never grow up the way you expected them to.”

    (This, and the one above it, with thanks to Jonathan Schreiber, whose great second caption pointed the way to a new approach.)

  74. “Agreed. You bless the beer and then I’ll bless the wine.”

  75. “The bishop and I do not believe in ‘same sect marriage’, and we are very happy together. thank you very much!”

  76. “I got my start by writing material for Jewish comedians.”

  77. “Circumcision, schmircumcision. How do you expect me to remember what it felt like?”

  78. Don’t ask, don’t tell.

  79. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You guys gotta come home with me later for the most delicious gefilte fish you ever tasted.”

  80. “Another round and the punch line may come to me.”

  81. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Both of us are drinking up your entire line of punch–what could be a more delicious way to end the joke?”

  82. philip catalano

    That’s not kosher is it? A bishop and a rabbi!

  83. philip catalano

    Prayer service for a snowman? Really! What’s he holding a bible? If the kids are worried about the snowman, why don,t they call 911?

  84. Oy we can’t even get the joke right– the minister wanted craft beer.

  85. “Why can’t you two learn to blend in?”

  86. “Let’s begin our sermons at the moment we walked in.”

  87. “I bet you get a lot of real characters in here.”

  88. “It’s good all right, but it’s no Manischewitz.”

  89. “Heard any good ones lately?”

  90. “I give up too. What are we doing here?”

  91. Alex Hallenstein

    Don’t you realize that Amish folks don’t drink beer in bars?

  92. Geralsd Lebowitz

    “Now that the three of us are in on the joke, why aren’t we laughing?”

  93. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Now that the three of us are in on the joke, why aren’t we laughing?”

  94. Gerald Lebowitz

    “OK, we’re in a joke. Why aren’t we laughing?”

  95. Gerald Lebowitz

    “If this is a joke, why aren’t we laughing? Or is that the joke?”

  96. Did you ever hear about the Rabbi and the Priest who walk into the bar and —

  97. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Only Jewish men were allowed to craft this delicious ale. That’s why it’s a he-brew treat.”

  98. Julian Waldmann

    I’d love a boiler maker.next.

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