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Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest

Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.

Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!

Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.

Submit a caption for this cartoon by December 20th by
writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!

Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!

“So, what are we looking for?” —Adrian Storisteanu, Toronto, ON, Canada

“On your mark… get set… shuffle! —Jim Gorman, Thousand Oaks, CA

“There’s only enough Social Security for one of you.” —Debby Prigal, Washington, DC

Vote For Your Favorite Cartoon Caption

Vote for the winner of the July/August contest! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.

Chuckle at the September/October 2016 winning caption and see who wrote it!

cartoon

“Lenny, you should have told me you wanted the Herman Wouk before I put these in alphabetical order.”
Laurence Paskowitz, Forest Hills, NY

HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR CAPTION(S)

Submit as a comment below by December 20, 2016. Finalists will appear in the January/February 2017 issue. To vote for the winner of the July/August 2016 contest (see finalists above), use the “vote form.”

About Moment:  For more than four decades, Moment readers have participated in a spirited conversation about life from a Jewish perspective—a conversation that started more than 5,000 years ago. They like us because we’re different—we’re non-denominational, totally independent, and utterly committed to excellent journalism. We transcend ideology and allow for a genuine exchange of ideas. We’re always up-to-date in the latest in Jewish culture, politics and religion. Moment was founded in 1975 by Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Elie Wiesel and writer Leonard Fein. It’s editor and publisher today is journalist Nadine Epstein.

137 comments

  1. Gerald Lebowitz

    Welcome to Sadie Hawkins Day for Seniors! Sir, you get a head start. Remember, if she catches up to you at any point in the race, you have to marry her!

  2. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You were supposed to start running 15 minutes ago when I fired the first shot!”

  3. On your mark . . . get set . . . shuffle!

  4. False start, hearing aids are missing!

  5. And let the 2016 Democratic Primary begin!

  6. Gerald S Kirzner

    It’s the beginning of another New Year so once again let’s race Shoshana!!

  7. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Go! Remember, just getting up is half the race!”

  8. With age comes wisdom but the memory fails..where are we?

  9. Adrian Storisteanu

    That pop in my ears, again.

  10. Oy, the getting down was ok. Can you help me up when you hear him fire? I can’t see him.

  11. Gerald Lebowitz

    “On your marks, get set, stand!”

  12. Gerald Lebowitz

    “On your marks, get ready, get set … STAND!”

  13. Adrian Storisteanu

    “So what are we looking for?”

  14. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You folks really don’t have to get up if you don’t want to.”

  15. “The next time you gotta go, just go!”

  16. Richard lipman

    Ok I’m out of bullets. Try the PA system.

  17. Richard Goldstein

    Instead of shooting off that gun, he should say a prayer.

  18. Martin A. Schechter

    “Go already.”

  19. Martha did you hear something?

  20. David Lieberman

    The first one to cross the starting line wins!

  21. prasidha ramnathan

    The race for life begins…!!!!

  22. Oops. Was that me or you?

  23. Gerald Lebowitz

    “One of you will be the hands down winner of this race.”

  24. NOVICES OVERVIEW: If you are new to physical fitness,
    or see yourself as a beginner, this is where you must start.

  25. “There is only enough Social Security for one of you.”

  26. Marian Blanton

    C’mon… let’s show them what two old farts can do!

  27. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Remember, slow and steady wins the race. The hare will start running two months from now.”

  28. Michael A. Parsnick

    It looks like grandma has a nose up as we begin the race.

  29. Henry W. Kimmel

    First one to stand up wins. Go!

  30. Feigue Cieplinski

    If you loose don’t bring up the woman card !

  31. Adrian Storisteanu

    “Get ready, oy vey, go!”

  32. “Run if you must mom and dad, but I’m still taking you to a marriage counselor.”

  33. “On your mark, get set,…complain!”

  34. “Sorry, you’ll just have to run without your contact lenses.”

  35. BILLIE JEAN KING – BOBBY RIGGS REMATCH, 2016.

  36. The first one to cross the Start line, wins”

  37. “The first one to cross the start-line, wins.”

  38. “On you mark, get set, put your hearing aides in, and I’ll shoot the gun again.”

  39. “Stop saying, ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up,’ and start running.”

  40. “If you forget where you’re going just follow the white lines.”

  41. “No, you’re at the finish line, you’ve just started.”

  42. Richard Johnson

    On your March, Get set, (bang) hobble!!

  43. Richard Johnson

    Really Margarett again?!, you can have the remote!

  44. Betty, did you hear the starter pistol, I forgot my hearing aids.

  45. Gerald Lebowitz

    “It’s the race to call attention to daylight savings time–spring forward, fall back!”

  46. “No, you’re not at the finish line, you’ve just started.”

  47. The fifty yard dash is followed by the triple bypass.

  48. “Okay, let’s see how you roll!”

  49. “You may begin the 20 yard schlep!”

  50. “With this race we launch the Turner Classic Sports channel!”

  51. “And now, to finally settle who was the better catch in 1954…”

  52. “And the winner gets permanent control of the remote!”

  53. I said, “THE GUN WENT OFF!!!”

  54. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Remember what I said: keep your noses to the ground and don’t let yourselves be distracted by anything.”

  55. Gerald Lebowitz

    “This is a great way to celebrate your 75th anniversary and to finally determine which one of you is in better shape after all those years together!”

  56. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Remember the rules: no pushing, no shoving, no cursing and no yelling are allowed.”

  57. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You two were the winners of the front crawl swimming competition for seniors. Now we’ll see how you do on dry land.”

  58. I’m sorry but your too old to Make America Great Again….

  59. Believe it or not, but before the 2016 election, I was 27 years old…….

  60. Where do you see yourself in 2000 years?

  61. “I need you to stop turning the other students into pillars of salt.”

  62. Gerald Lebowitz

    “G-d knows why you’re so depressed. That’s why you should be consulting Yourself instead of me.”

  63. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I suggest that you go back to doing what you’ve always been doing; just don’t read any more of Christopher Hitchins.”

  64. Gerald Lebowitz

    “By this time you should know that you can’t please everybody. Some people are even holding you reponsible for Trump’s victory. You’ve simply got to develop a thicker skin.”

  65. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You simply have to move on with your life. The first step is to turn your cap around so that it faces front.”

  66. Gerald Lebowitz

    “If even you are questioning whether life has meaning, how are the rest of us supposed to feel?”

  67. I realize you’ve been her longer than any of us Joey, but there is no retirement plan for students. Perhaps it’s time to move on.

  68. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Perhaps you should consider changing your major from religion to philosophy.”

  69. I know you mean well, however you are regularly meeting with students, offering them sage advice, and this will replace my job!

    You are facing serious charges: we can’t contact your parents, we need your home address, and it appears you are holding weekly student classes regarding religion, ethics and morals!

  70. Methuselah, if you don’t pick up your academic progress and graduate you won’t pay off your student loan until you are 696 years old.

  71. “I think you’re having a mid-eternity crisis.”

  72. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I know you feel terribly guilty for all the suffering your wrath has caused, but everybody loses control once in a while.”

  73. Gerald Lebowitz

    “How many more centuries are you going to continue to beat yourself up over losing your temper that one time and flooding the whole earth? It’s over already and time to move on.”

  74. Feigue Cieplinski

    I am younger than you, there is no way I can guide you to turn your life around.
    Do you have any advice for me?

  75. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I know that you were quoted as saying to Moses, ‘I am that I am,’ but that doesn’t mean you can’t be better.”

  76. timothy busam

    I need help with a student.

  77. timothy busam

    I’m sorry you came all the way down here, but I can’t help you.

  78. So where do you see your career in 5 years?

  79. Don’t you think it is about time get over it?

  80. I know you want to play football, but the No Pass/No Play law is still in effect.

  81. Theodore Jakim

    Sir, we’re going to have to talk about your new ‘hip’ method of teaching children history.

  82. Adrian Storisteanu

    I’ll propose, alright. You dispose, though…

  83. Adrian Storisteanu

    Omnipresence or not, you *should* consider a Facebook account.

  84. Adrian Storisteanu

    Let’s start in the beginning.

  85. Adrian Storisteanu

    Oh-My-You, six days that’s all?

  86. So that’s where that started.

  87. The next 5,000 years of conversation begins here.

  88. Don’t you want something more than auto shop?

  89. Drop the cat, already.

  90. I’m sorry, but everybody needs Phys Ed.

  91. This will be our first participation medal

  92. I’m not sure being a shepherd is a wise career decision.

  93. If you want to be more popular chuck the cap and get a staff.

  94. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You’re accused of failing three existentialists who somehow showed up in your religion class.”

  95. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You can’t just be one of the boys; you’re the boss, for god’s sake.”

  96. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Too young to retire, too old for Hillel; you’ve got a problem.”

  97. Martin Schechter

    “There’s not much of a future in prophecy.”

  98. Judith Weinroth

    Holy Moses! After 40 years of wandering, you’re finally asking for directions?

  99. Stuart J Moskovitz

    My mother sends me down the river, my brother gets to be the high priest, when is it going to be about me?

  100. “So, I heard you got high on Christmas.”

  101. Andrea Chassen

    Here is my suggested caption for the cartoon published in Moment’s November-December issue:

    “Sharing your tablets with Moses isn’t an excuse for not turning in your assignments, Hashem.”

  102. “Look, these Aptitude tests give us a ballpark analysis at best. Perhaps you could pursue a career in hospitality.”

  103. Andrea Chassen

    Your teacher tells me that you’re having an existential crisis.

  104. Christina Anton

    Three Hail Marys and an Our Father should do it.

  105. Rochelle Day Smith

    “You moonlighting? Kris Kringle my tush….You resemble my Synagogue’s Rabbi!, Shlomo Moshe! Gavalt!

  106. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Should I continue to dispense advice to students or admit that I’m a fraud and move on?”

  107. “After much thought, the three of you should triple major at the college of your choice.”

  108. Harold Ticktin

    Don’t you think a kippah would be better for time travel?

  109. Gerald Lebowitz

    “You can’t be seen walking around campus looking so depressed. You, above all, have to protect your image.”

  110. Adrian Storisteanu

    I don’t recommend getting another Job.

  111. “I’ve narrowed your major to Accounting or Omnipotence. Either way, you gotta lose the hat.”

  112. ” Taking advanced philosophy would be good for your career”

    OR

    “You graduated a long time ago. Now its my turn to give advice”

  113. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I understand why you’re in such a funk. When you come right down to it, nobody really wants to be God.”

  114. Gerald Lebowitz

    “When you played hide and seek as a child and nobody found you, how did that make you feel?”

  115. “Where do you see yourself thirty years ago?”

  116. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Maybe you can let there be some light on your condition so that I can understand it.”

  117. “On the other hand, you could just—you know—abide.”

  118. “For you, I wouldn’t recommend any six-year programs.”

  119. “Drop out today and the school will name a lounge for you.”

  120. “It seems we lost your transcript in the Windows 98 upgrade.”

  121. “It isn’t fair, but we’re not bringing back Lyre Studies.”

  122. “You’ve outlived yet another registrar.”

  123. ” Stop handing in your work on papyrus.”

  124. “Nonconformity is overrated.”

  125. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Cheer up. Most of us feel exiled from our promised land.”

  126. Gerald Lebowitz

    “Moses, old boy, I suggest that you take the two tablets you were prescribed. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

  127. “It’s quite understandable that you would have a superiority complex.”

  128. Gerald Lebowitz

    “What do you think I should do with my life?”

  129. Gerald Lebowitz

    “I used to worship you. Now I see that you have feet of clay.”

  130. Now is a good time to consider politics, since you have a “big head” and “hands!”

  131. ron barailloux

    bad news is people are accusing you of being on drugs… the goodnews is the chicago cubs called.

  132. I need to understand why are they rejecting me for CEO post ?

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