Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest

Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.

Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!

Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.

Plus: Read interviews with some of our most prolific caption contest contributors here.

Submit a caption for this cartoon by February 20 by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!

Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!

“It’s usually right there in between the two cranberries.”
— Howie Slomka, Atlanta, GA


“You can give it a Hebrew name without going this far.”
—Suanne Scherr, Great Neck, NY


“I do better on the giblets.”
—Mark Schaefer, Arvada, CO

Vote for your favorite! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.

Vote for your favorite caption

Chuckle at the November/December 2023 winning caption—and see who wrote it!

 

“Isn’t that out yet in paperback?”
—Stephen Nadler, Princeton, NJ

How to Submit Your Caption(s)

Submit as a comment below by February 20,2024. Finalists will appear in the upcoming issue. To vote for the winner of the Winter 2024 contest (see finalists above), use the vote form.

 

356 thoughts on “Cartoon Caption Contest

  1. Marv Sager says:

    “Whatever you do, don’t be a CRACK-POT person!” (Also, don’t GIVE ME A BREAK!)

    1. Mark Plotnick says:

      This is just my warmup routine. Wait until you see my Hamsa Hand!

  2. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    An elderly man was arrested for trespassing and called before a judge.

    “You have been charged with trespassing on your neighbor’s property,” the judge intoned. “How do you plead?”

    “Not guilty, your honor.”

    “You were caught in your boxer shorts in your neighbor’s pond doing the backstroke directly in front of the sign that clearly said ‘Private. No swimming.’ Now how do you plead?”

    “Not guilty,” the man insisted once again. “I’m not guilty because that is not what the sign said.”

    “Really?” the judge challenged. “Just exactly what did the sign say, then?”

    “The sign said, ‘Private? No. Swimming.’

  3. Marv Sager says:

    “Since you wished for a DEVILISH good time, I summoned the Devil and he said, ‘To hell with you!'”

  4. Michael Lomazow says:

    “Ask AI to tell us who will win the Super Bowl.”

  5. Michael Lomazow says:

    “Vos is dos?”

  6. Michael Lomazow says:

    “No matter what they ask for,don’t take off your clothes.”

  7. Marv Sager says:

    “Yeshiva University never prepared me for this future!”

  8. Marv Sager says:

    “If I was a RELIGIOUS ROBOT, then my life would be complete!”

  9. Marv Sager says:

    “GOD helps those who help themselves to the AI-CHAT line!”

  10. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “You’ve been texting for more than two hours and you STILL don’t know whom you’re chatting with?”

  11. Marv Sager says:

    “I asked about Nazis during WWII, and the response was, HITLER IST KAPUT!”

  12. Dale Stout says:

    Is Ai kosher?

  13. Dale Stout says:

    AiChat? We need to invent OyChat.

  14. Marv Sager says:

    “I asked AI-CHAT if Vladimir Putin will PASS GAS BOMBS to his troops in Ukraine. The answer was if he swallows enough BEANS!”

  15. Michael Lomazow says:

    “Ask him if he’s seen my Tallis.”

  16. Rich Wolf says:

    “C’mon, it’s not much different than talking with your wife.”

  17. Rich Wolf says:

    “It’s like talking with your kids, except you get intelligent responses.”

  18. Marv Sager says:

    “AI-CHAT: Is there life after death? The answer was, ‘Are you dying to find out?”‘

  19. Dale Stout says:

    Don’t hog the computer, it isn’t kosher.

  20. Dale Stout says:

    Hurry up, I’m late for volleyball practice.

  21. Marv Sager says:

    “AI-CHAT should I drink coffee before using the computer? (ANSWER) Yes, because usage is a daily grind!”

  22. Dale Stout says:

    To HAL with it.

  23. Dale Stout says:

    What the HAL?

    1. Marv Sager says:

      “AI-CHAT (response): HAL-lelujah!” 🙂

    2. Rich Wolf says:

      Nice!

  24. Dale Stout says:

    It takes two hands to handle a WOPR.

  25. Dale Stout says:

    Beast two out of three?

  26. Dale Stout says:

    I smell a Conspiracy Theory, or is that you?

    1. Dale Stout says:

      How about a nice game of chess?

      1. jim gorman says:

        “The only winning move is not to play.”

        1. Dale Stout says:

          That’s it, Jim :^)

  27. Marv Sager says:

    “I asked AI-CHAT if the Messiah will be coming soon. (REPLY) Yes, as soon as he receives his security clearance!”

  28. “Go ahead. Have it ask us anything.”

  29. Marv Sager says:

    “To AI-CHAT: Is DOOMSDAY coming? (ANSWER) Yes, you are one day closer!”

  30. Dale Stout says:

    Don’t kibitz or you’re kaput.

  31. Dale Stout says:

    I can virtually drink anyone under the table.

    1. Marv Sager says:

      Yes, a table with Dale (STOUT) beer! 🙂

  32. Marv Sager says:

    “To AI-Chat: What is the secret to a LONG LIFE? ( Answer) A very LONG SLOW DEATH!”

  33. Mark S. says:

    “What’s IA?”

  34. TK says:

    “Every time you have too much Manischewitz, we find you up here searching Burning Bush”

  35. Marv Sager says:

    “To AI-Chat: Since life is a beautiful color world, what sexy color do you recommend? (Reply) 50 SHADES OF GRAY (of course)!”

  36. Lori WEINBERG KINSELLA says:

    AI Chat Cartoon Caption:

    I wonder if they can make the female robots less bossy?

  37. Max D Leifer says:

    Does it say when the Messhia is coming?

  38. Donna Levin says:

    “I know from a shtreimel, but what’s this AIC hat?”

  39. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I ask if robots are destined to take our jobs, and if so, how soon can they start?”

  40. Marv Sager says:

    “To AI-Chat: I’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places. What do you suggest? (Reply) Wear your glasses more often!”

  41. Sherri Alper says:

    “I think it’s pronounced ‘aichat’ as in challah’l

  42. Stephen Tamber says:

    Sorry, Rebbe: I can’t add to, or subtract from, the Torah

  43. Michael Kates says:

    “Ask it to prove that shrimp is kosher.”

  44. Marv Sager says:

    “To AI-Chat: Why is kosher wine more expensive than similar regular wine? (ANSWER) You have to pay extra for GOD’S BLESSING!”

  45. Andrea Chassen says:

    The AIbishster wants to have a chat with us??

  46. Robert Diamant says:

    Ooops, Rebbe, a typo. The “t” should be an “I.”

  47. Larry Lesser says:

    Why do you always answer a question with a question?

  48. Larry Lesser says:

    I didn’t say AI, I said “AI DI DI DI DAI”!

  49. Larry Lesser says:

    Funny you should ask….

  50. Marv Sager says:

    “To AI-CHAT: Are the best things in life free? (REPLY) Yes, especially FREE ADVICE from AI-CHAT!”

  51. Moment Editor says:

    The deadline for submitting cartoon captions has been extended to August 25th, so please send in yours! Need some AI comic inspiration? Check out Bob Mankoff’s “Oy, Oy, AI: What ChatGPT Can Tell Us About Jewish Jokes (https://momentmag.com/oy-oy-ai-what-chatgpt-can-tell-us-about-jewish-jokes/) and Bob’s entry in our AI symposium from the current issue: https://momentmag.com/is-artificial-intelligence-good-for-humanity/

    1. Susanna Levin says:

      If it can’t answer the TAIKU questions, what good is it?

  52. Alex Gabaldon says:

    Is from my mother… she created an AI account that tells me I never write, call or chat…I feel so guilty…virtually!

  53. Alex Hayden says:

    Computer, what is a Kanye West?

  54. Michael Lomazow says:

    “Find out if we can be on America’s Got Talent.”

  55. “Get it to write me a funny line.”

  56. Marv Sager says:

    “To AI-CHAT: Why do the DRECK BOYS hate bagels? (ANSWER) With their DULL MINDS, they accuse the Jewish bakers of making too much dough!”

  57. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Oh no, it says job seeking ‘AI Robots’ don’t require Cream Cheese Bagels either!”

  58. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Learning the Moonwalk in the 80’s was bad enough; How will we ever master these Robot dance moves?”

  59. “I pronounce it meh.”

  60. Marv Sager says:

    “To AI-CHAT: Do you enjoy CYBER SEX? (REPLY) Yes, just push my buttons!”

  61. Nancy Snyder says:

    AI? Must be Abraham and Isaac speaking with us from beyond.

  62. “So where’s the Yiddishkeit?”

  63. Marv Sager says:

    “Can a Jewish AI-CHAT always be right? (ANSWER) Yes, because we answer to a HIGHER AUTHORITY!”

  64. “I’d trust my own fashion sense over that thing any day.”

  65. “Now I believe you inquire what it’s wearing.”

  66. “Impressive, sure, but I’m still against counting it in our minyan.”

  67. “I hear it can scroll.”

  68. Marv Sager says:

    “What’s behind AREA 51 in Nevada? (ANSWER) AREA 50 caliber machine guns pointed at you should you trespass!”

  69. Marv Sager says:

    “Does Israel have secret weapons to defeat its enemies? (ANSWER) Yes, it’s called BRAINS & CHUTZPAH!”

  70. Marv Sager says:

    “Why are there so many anti-Semites in the world? (REPLY) According to the old saying: There’s a SUCKER born every minute!”

  71. Stanley Schofer says:

    “Stop nooging me, my sermon is just printing out now!”

  72. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Eactly how long have you known about these apps for writing sermons?”

  73. Marv Sager says:

    “May I call you BOYCHIK, AI? (Answer) Yes, RABBI SHMEGEGGE!”

  74. Marv Sager says:

    “Does AI-CHAT have a motto? (ANSWER) Yes: TURN ON, TUNE IN, and PAY YOUR WI-FI BILL!”

  75. Lee Lacewell says:

    “How long have you known about these apps for writing sermons?”

  76. Marv Sager says:

    “What is the shrewdest animal in the world? (RESPONSE) A wise old OWL, but nobody gives a HOOT!”

    (Why aren’t there more cartoon captions? I guess nobody for the MOMENT gives a HOOT here either!)

  77. Mark Paladini says:

    The sun is setting. Your gout is not as important as my drash.

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      Good caption.

  78. Chris Wilhelmi says:

    “It’s the quicker picker upper”

  79. Lee Lacewell says:

    Caption:
    “I didn’t quite finish that last part, would you mind scrolling down a bit?”

  80. “Again, you’re menschspreading.”

  81. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “Must you read the whole thing? There’s an abridged version of it in last month’s Reader’s Digest.”

  82. “Isn’t that out yet in paperpack?”

  83. “Check if there’s a law against what you’re doing.”

  84. “Then your subway map must be in what you call the aron kodesh.”

  85. Rich Wolf says:

    “Did the Maccabees win last night?”

  86. Rich Wolf says:

    “I think there’s a microfiche version.”

  87. Marv Sager says:

    “I am not a Jewish scholar, but I am auditioning for a role in the Yentl revival.”

  88. Marv Sager says:

    “Cartoon captions should be included in the Torah, because I enjoy laughing while I’m reading.”

  89. Michael Lomazow says:

    “The wooden shafts discourage subway hooligans.”

  90. Michael Lomazow says:

    “Now I’m getting to the good parts.”

  91. Michael Lomazow says:

    “I’m afraid that the kiosks don’t carry this item.”

  92. Marv Sager says:

    “In case of emergency, save the Torah, and I will hang on to the handles.”

  93. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “This is public transportation, where some people are happy to lean on a pole while others are happy to sit and scroll.”

  94. Rebecca R. says:

    “God, it’s so hard to read these old subway maps!”

  95. Marv Sager says:

    “I read the Torah to understand Yiddish graffiti.”

  96. Lee Lacewell says:

    “It’s simple. Hold up the left side and it automatically scrolls right. Hold up the right side and it automatically scrolls left.”

  97. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I just got it. It has the largest rollable flat display screen available.”

  98. Marv Sager says:

    “According to the dress code, everyone must cover up properly. This Torah scroll covers me up properly.”

  99. “Here we prefer doomscrolling.”

  100. “If I chant Etz Chaim, will you put that away?”

  101. Marv Sager says:

    “The reason why I hold on to my Torah is that it doesn’t fit in my backpack.”

  102. TK says:

    “The bumfodder is missing from the loo”

  103. Marv Sager says:

    “By opening the Torah scroll on the tram, I am BENSCHSPREADING the word of GOD from one location to another!”

  104. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “Everybody thinks that you’re studying religious tracts, but they’re only crossword puzzles.”

  105. Sam Solomon says:

    do they have that in an audiobook?

  106. Marv Sager says:

    “I asked GOD to send me a message. I didn’t expect the WHOLE MEGILLAH!”

  107. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “To me the Torah is like the ocean. As I scroll I’m really paddling to keep myself afloat.”

  108. Marv Sager says:

    “These are the times that try men’s SOUL SEARCHING!”

  109. Michael Lomazow says:

    “I am preparing for my Bar Mitzvah.You are all invited.”

  110. Richard Chused says:

    The aleph in the eighteenth row of the middle column is badly damaged.

  111. Stanley osur says:

    My homework assignment

  112. Marv Sager says:

    “I need to be closer to GOD and his Torah. Therefore, I require new contact lenses to focus!”

  113. Mayer Fox says:

    For new cartoon of Hasid reading the Torah on the Subway…

    (HEADLINE) TORAH TIMES

    JOSEPH RELEASED FROM PRISON!!!!!!!!
    CHIEF BAKER HANGED IN CONSPIRACY TO HARM THE PHAROH!!!!!!!!!!!!

    In other news…cupbearer returns to duty…………

  114. Scroll down to accept all

  115. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “Row, row, row your Torah gently down the stream … ”
    …”

  116. Alex Bernstein says:

    You’re on the local. You may want to stand up and finish off the parsha before the next stop.

  117. Stephen C Listfield says:

    To the Fall 2023 cartoon: “I’m Jewish. This is how we roll.”

  118. David Jonathan Cohen says:

    “You’re taking online scrolling to a whole new level.”

  119. Mel Prussack says:

    “Once I start, I have to finish!

  120. Debby Prigal says:

    OK by me. After all, they say that on airplanes the person in the middle seat gets both arm rests.

  121. Jim Berk says:

    And you thought Subway nourishment was just a sandwich!

    Jim Berk
    West Bloomfield, Michigan

  122. Marv Sager says:

    (If I wrote the Torah, then I would include a few Jewish words for the DRECK BOYS of the January 6th insurrection:)

    “Enjoy your federal prison rat cells in hellish conditions KAKN un SHTINKEN because of your stupidity! AMEN!”

  123. Michael Lomazow says:

    “Rabbi,I know we said we would follow you anywhere but the subway out of Manhattan during rush hour is asking too much.”

  124. Ruth Wallace says:

    Excuse me, sir, but you’re torah-spreading.

  125. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “Some people like to rock’n roll; me, I like to scroll’n scroll.”

  126. Can you keep scrolling and let me know how it ends.

  127. bernard selden says:

    this is for the oct contest_____ must have had trouble paying his fare

  128. Marv Sager says:

    “It’s a good day to read the Torah. Besides, my hometown professional football team is not playing this week!”

  129. Lee Lacewell says:

    “How long have you had that Rail Pass?”

  130. BEN HUBERMAN says:

    “DOES IT HAVE YOUR HOROSCOPE?”

  131. Ben Huberman says:

    “Wouldn’t it be easier on Kindle?”

  132. Gigi Huberman says:

    “Does it have your horoscope?”

  133. Ben Huberman says:

    “Are you reading your horoscope?”

  134. Lee Lacewell says:

    ⁹Scrollin, ….scrollin,….scrollin on the river.”

  135. Alex Hallenstein says:

    Any pictures I might like

  136. Torah Spreading? Man Spreading with a mission?

  137. Marv Sager says:

    “I just read the Torah without interpreting the meaning. After all, I don’t possess Artificial Intelligence!”

  138. JUDITH MUSANTE says:

    women: is that heavy
    hassid: it ain’t heavy, its my father

  139. Dale Stout says:

    Could you start ‘In the Beginning’?

  140. Dale Stout says:

    Adam and Eve naked? Don’t give anyone ideas.

  141. Dale Stout says:

    Do you read the ‘Wailing Wall Street Journal’?

  142. Dale Stout says:

    It’s amazing you don’t need glasses. It’s upside down.

  143. Dale Stout says:

    Manspreading out so far and wide, take Manhattan but give me that countryside. (Sung to the theme song for Green Acres)

  144. Dale Stout says:

    I’m reading some WWII history, it’s called ‘Tora, Tora, Tora’.

  145. Dale Stout says:

    I see quite a few weddings and obituaries in there.

  146. Dale Stout says:

    Here comes the Underpass Passover.

  147. Rob Huffman says:

    “Doomscrolling?”

  148. Rob Huffman says:

    “Could you please stop manna-spreading?”

    1. Dale Stout says:

      Nice one.

  149. Rob Huffman says:

    “What’d you expect on the Dead C train?”

  150. Marv Sager says:

    “According to the Torah, life is a journey. On the Metro, you might be taking a ride on the WILD SIDE!”

  151. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “This is like fishing for wisdom. The problem is that the waters are often too deep.”

  152. Henry Jacobson says:

    “Yes, you did miss the Red Sea station. Next stop, Sinai.”

  153. Kenneth M. Heilman says:

    “Did the Yankees beat the Red Socks?”

  154. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “The world would be a better place if there were more Torah and less man spreading.”

  155. Marvin Sager says:

    “My psychiatrist indicated that I have a problem with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) because I constantly read the Torah.
    But I informed my psychiatrist that I only read the Torah during the day, and dream about the Torah at night.
    Therefore, my psychiatrist assured me that I have only HALF a PROBLEM!”

  156. Marv Sager says:

    “My psychiatrist told me that I have a problem with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) because I constantly read the Torah.
    I told him that I only read the Torah during the day, and dream about the Torah at night.
    Therefore, my psychiatrist assured me that I only have HALF a PROBLEM!”

  157. Michael Lomazow says:

    “It says right here…. ‘Though shall not read over one’s shoulder.’ “

  158. One says:

    One of my newspapers yesterday pointed out that there is a growing acceptance in society that artificial intelligence will enter us into an era of understanding each other’s thoughts. Do we need a new song to introduce us to the new possibilities? How about “Send in the Clones” by the late Stephen Sondheim?

    1. Gerald Lebowitz says:

      I didn’t mean for the latter to be a misleading submission, but for some reason It didn’t allow for my name to accompany it– just as well if you consider the bad pun. Sondheim would probably be aghast if he somehow saw it. Sorry again.

  159. Laurence Paskowitz says:

    This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “scroll down.”

  160. Marv Sager says:

    “I cherish sitting & reading the Torah. When I stand up I feel that my soul is UPLIFTED!”

  161. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Try scrolling to the bottom… then tap ‘accept terms’.”

  162. Lee Lacewell says:

    “How many times must I tell the scribes, it’s I before E except after C?”

  163. “May I offer you something with vowels?”

  164. Marv Sager says:

    “Because I am a SUPER SCHOLAR of the Torah, this Halloween I will wear a costume with the Star of David and the letters TRUE (TORAH-‘R-US-ECCENTRICS)!”

  165. Mordechai Tzi says:

    “I will grant peace in the land, and you shall lie down untroubled by anyone.” When? It doesn’t say.

  166. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “This has nothing to do with religion. I’m trying to read a roll of bathroom tissue.”

  167. Marv Sager says:

    “Riding the subway and reading the Torah makes you feel safe. OtherWISE, carry your iPhone ready to dial 911!”

  168. Michael Lomazow says:

    “I’m not saying Biden is old,but isn’t that his signature at the bottom.”

  169. Lee Lacewell says:

    “How do you send ‘friend request’ on that?”

  170. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Is it true that scrolls had to be enlarged when the Middle Ages arrived?”

  171. Marv Sager says:

    “I often chant in a low Yiddish vulgar voice when riding the subway & holding the Torah. This is my way of cursing those annoying people next to me!”

  172. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “You could be kicked off this train for Torahspreading.”

  173. Michelle Gustafson says:

    For October 2023 caption contest:

    “I got mine from Goodreads. You?”
    OR
    “My book is a top ten bestseller. How about yours?”

    Thanks! Michelle Gustafson
    Madison, Wisconsin

    1. Gerald Lebowitz says:

      Michelle,

      Two good captions. As Oliver Twist might sak, “May we have some more?”

  174. Marv Sager says:

    “I read the Torah to learn about the good life. My wife teaches me about everyday troublesome life.
    Lastly, my mother-in-law preaches to me about HELL & DAMNATION!”

  175. Janet Rothbeind says:

    Nu Rabbi, What’s New?

  176. Mark Teitelman says:

    “I do my scrolling on social media.”

  177. Marv Sager says:

    “I never broke a sweat the first time I went scrolling. It definitely was a DRY RUN!”

  178. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I took it to Antiques Road Show today and it turns out it’s not worth the sticks it’s rolled up on.”

  179. Marv Sager says:

    “Once while riding the subway, I gave my Torah a big hug.
    The man next to me said sarcastically, ‘Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.’
    I replied, ‘Thanks for your concern, Mr. Whipple!'”

  180. Marv Sager says:

    “I carry this Torah because I couldn’t carry the Ark of the Covenant by myself (even if I could find it somewhere)!”

  181. Lee Lacewell says:

    This seems to be a moment frozen in time.

  182. Marv Sager says:

    “If Hamas had developed a subway system in their tunnels, then I would have considered reading the Torah to the Palestinians in Gaza.
    Then again, I am capable of NIGHTMARES when thinking about Hamas!”

    (Don’t you have NIGHTMARES for the MOMENT, or FREEZE UP according to Lee Lacewll.)

  183. Marv Sager says:

    “I could have been an astronaut and blasted off to the moon. But, there are no subways already built for me to read my Torah!”

    (Looks like I will be around the U.S.A. for the MOMENT! Will you join me, or do you plan to BLAST OFF somewhere?)

  184. Marv Sager says:

    “Reading the Torah on the Metro requires adequate lighting with good eyesight, better known as TUNNEL VISION!”

  185. Marv Sager says:

    “It’s turkey BRIS TIME!”

  186. Marv Sager says:

    “I thought you said you were making a BRISket!”

  187. Marv Sager says:

    “The turkey is stuffed and soon you will be too!”

  188. Marv Sager says:

    “White meat, dark meat, or VEGAN?”

  189. Michael Lomazow says:

    “This is practice before the next Bris.”

  190. Lee Lacewell says:

    “First of all we can be thankful we are not turkeys.”

  191. Marv Sager says:

    “Another FOWL meal without the FOUL taste!”

  192. Rich Wolf says:

    “Are you sure this is the right bird?”

  193. Gerald Lebowitz says:

    “This is my favorite kind of briss. The patient
    is in no pain during the surgery and even smiles at me later.”

  194. Marv Sager says:

    “If my cooked turkey could speak, it would say, ‘GOBBLE-GOBBLE me up’ because I’m TENDER HEARTED!”

  195. Michael Lomazow says:

    “I feel sorry for him but damn,he looks delicious.”

  196. Marv Sager says:

    “I don’t know if ELIJAH will decide to PASSOVER our (open door) invitation for Thanksgiving dinner.”

  197. Mark S. says:

    “I do better on the giblets.”

  198. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I came home, trimmed my beard, and then I prepared this dinner, with all the trimmings, according to directions I found in a large scroll on the midtown train.

  199. Marv Sager says:

    “I won a 20-pound frozen turkey from the internet. I only had to pay shipping & handling & taxes & a donation to MOMENT!”

  200. Lee Lacewell says:

    “We can be thankful for the delivery driver that left all this delicious food at the wrong address.”

  201. Lee Lacewell says:

    “All of my knives are dull so while I was trimming my beard this morning I thought why not carve the turkey with my grooming sissors?”

  202. Lee Lacewell says:

    “One home oven cooked turkey is worth ten Rotessorie Chickens from Walmart or Cosco.”

  203. Marv Sager says:

    “The President pardoned 2 turkeys. This is just one of the many turkeys he rejected for Americans to enjoy eating!
    That’s why we call this holiday, THANKSGIVING!”

  204. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Trump, while in office, pardoned two MAGA Turkeys, but later he was told they were actually anti-MAGA. Now he has promised, on his first day back in office, to have both jailed until the next Thanksgiving then deep fried on National Television.”

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      “The above Trump comment above is meant to be in jest. I do not mean to imply that he would actually resort to such tactics involving poor defenseless animals. I think if re-elected he will be too busy trying to do the same to his perceived human enemies.”

    2. Mordechai Tzvi says:

      People wonder if there is a connection between the words “giblet” and “gevalt.” Allow me, before carving the turkey, a brief word on this interesting topic.

  205. Michael Lomazow says:

    “Did anyone ever tell you that with that hair you look a little like a turkey?”

  206. Marv Sager says:

    “You have a choice of a WING & a PRAYER, a LEG to STAND ON, and/or a BREAST to NIPple AWAY your hunger!”

  207. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Would it have killed any of you to have brought a dessert or maybe a few bagels with cream cheese?”

    1. Jim Gorman says:

      . . . Whoop, there it is!

  208. Lee Lacewell says:

    “The turkey has been in my freezer a while and the ‘best by date’ was ten years ago; I think it should still be ok, don’t you?”

  209. Marv Sager says:

    “Washington, D.C. had a ‘TURKEY ROAST’ this past week. George Santos was the guest of dishonor and was expelled from Congress.
    When asked for a comment, George (JEW-ISH) Santos said when leaving, ‘GET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN PLACE!’
    Poor ex-Congressman Santos couldn’t believe that others didn’t appreciate his talent to lie & commit fraud (allegedly)!”

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      “It is said that George Santos never lets truth get in the way of anything he has to say.”

      1. Marv Sager says:

        At least George Santos in his warped mind has the memory of his mother in the 911 Twin Towers, his grandparents from the Holocaust,
        and most of all his vast college education to sustain him! 🙂

        1. Lee Lacewell says:

          Very well stated!

  210. Lee Lacewell says:

    “It’s a Harry turkey, they were out of Tom and Dick turkeys.”

  211. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I was out of stuffing mix so I used left over bagels and cream cheese.”

  212. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I find if I don’t serve any type of drink the food goes much further and everyone goes home sooner.”

  213. Marv Sager says:

    “My preferred method of cutting the turkey is to use scissors to produce all the TRIMMINGS!”

  214. Marv Sager says:

    “Bubbe mistakenly refers to the long car drive to buy our kosher turkey as ROAD KILL!”

  215. Mel Prussack says:

    Are you sure it’s a boy?

  216. TK says:

    “Someone went a little too far with the circumcision and then left all his parts in a bag. Who wants the Bishops nose?”

  217. Lee Lacewell says:

    “The Uber driver dropped me at the wrong address. Do you want me to go ahead and trim the turkey anyway?”

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      “Don’t worry, it’s a bris.

  218. Marv Sager says:

    “The shochet told me at the end of the day he couldn’t tell one turkey from another. After all, no heads or DNA blood were kept!”

  219. Lee Lacewell says:

    Bubble said there’d be days like this,….there’d be days like this,…. my Bubbe said.”

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      Opps! The first Bubbe got changed by spell check to include an L. .

  220. Lee Lacewell says:

    “This is Bubbe’s special recipe. It’s an extra large turkey stuffed with a duck that has been stuffed with a chicken that was stuffed with two small game hens.”

  221. Mordechai Tzvi says:

    As my nephew Mr. Glickstein is unschooled in such matters and has therefore has appointed me his agent, and with the permission of his equally inept wife, I am now ready and prepared to cut the turkey.

  222. Mordechai Tzvi says:

    People wonder if there is a connection between the words “giblet” and “gevalt.” Allow me, before carving the turkey, a brief word on this interesting topic.

  223. “Can anyone come up with a blessing for this?”

    1. Marv Sager says:

      “Bless this turkey that has been properly plucked so it will not have RUFFLED FEATHERS!”

        1. Marv Sager says:

          YOU’RE WELCOME! (Glad to be on the same page!)

  224. Eli Beaubien says:

    Anyone for an extra slice?

  225. “Sorry, but the carving knife is on backorder.”

  226. Marv Sager says:

    “I want to invite my family & friends to the next turkey dinner, but for the MOMENT my comment is AWAITING MODERATION!”

  227. Howie Slomka says:

    “It’s usually right there in between the 2 cranberries.”

  228. Mike Slomka says:

    Two drumsticks, three thighs , and four skins

  229. Dale Stout says:

    Which turkey needs circumcision?

  230. Dale Stout says:

    Anyone for a wing and a prayer?

  231. Dale Stout says:

    Mom always wanted me to be a surgeon.

  232. Dale Stout says:

    I’ll open, you close.

  233. “Does anyone see a dotted line?”

  234. Marv Sager says:

    “Eating too much Thanksgiving food will cause a MAD (WOBBLE-WOBBLE) TURKEY TROT to the bathroom!”

  235. Lee Lacewell says:

    “This is 3480 East Highland Park?”

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      Caption:
      “Better to snip late than never.”

  236. “Is anybody here in a hurry?”

  237. “Why is everybody so snippy?”

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      Caption:
      “Better late than never!”

  238. “Usually I work smaller.”

  239. Marv Sager says:

    “My next turkey will be in a bottle called, WILD TURKEY!”

  240. Marv Sager says:

    “Drinking WILD TURKEY does not need a hunting license!”

  241. Marv Sager says:

    “To me, eating & drinking a WILD TURKEY is the complete meal!”

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      “Wild Turkey can be a great medicine to keep in your cabinet. It kills bacteria, helps with cold and flu. Although I have discovered that it is not a good substitute for lighting charcoal. I only tried that in a pinch one time. Maybe if I hadn’t closed the lid on my grill and left the charcoal to soak it woudn’t have lost my eybrows.”

  242. Lee Lacewell says:

    Eyebrows.”

  243. Suanne Scherr says:

    Oops, wrong house.

  244. Suanne Scherr says:

    You can give it a Hebrew name without going this far.

  245. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I have been taking an online barber course. I need some actual snipping experience, so before we eat, would anyone like a quick trim?”

  246. Lee Lacewell says:

    Caption:
    “After working 4o years in the field of cosmetology, Richard started to find the line between home and work time increasingly blurred.”

  247. Lee Lacewell says:

    Caption:

    “A little off the top?”

  248. Lee Lacewell says:

    “The cartoonist again has provided us with drawings of food, so I will be snipping and serving clippings of each food item. Who wants a clipped wing?”

  249. Alan Rosen says:

    Isn’t it a little late for the bris?

  250. Lee Lacewell says:

    “We’ll get started as soon as the little thingy pops up!”

  251. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Is anyone else missing the thoughts and wise writings of Gerald Lebowitz and Marv Sager? Moments here are just not the same when either half of the dynamic duo goes away.”

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      🙁

      1. Marv Sager says:

        Lee,

        Thanks for graciously mentioning my name along with Gerald Lebowitz.
        There are many outstanding cartoon caption contributors on Momentum, and I am always inspired by their whimsical & thoughtful entries.
        Needless to say, I am always here on this blog in spirit and will continue to add my SILLY NONSENSE (whether appropriate or not)!
        Keep up your encouragement to others as we need as many enthusiastic people as yourself!

  252. Marv Sager says:

    “If you think that I am doing this again next year, then my response is I’m going COLD TURKEY!”

  253. Adam Stevenson says:

    “Trigger warning.”

  254. Michael Lomazow says:

    “I’d rather see a diamond.”

    1. Rich Wolf says:

      Good one!

  255. Michael Lomazow says:

    “Have you ever heard of crop circles?”

  256. Michael Lomazow says:

    “As we get to be better skaters,we can try things like The Dome of the Rock.”

  257. Marv Sager says:

    “These are not the days of wine & roses, but they are the days of turkey feathers & bones. The memories linger onward!”

  258. Marv Sager says:

    “I promised you a JEWISH STAR of DAVID surprise for your birthday!”

  259. Marv Sager says:

    “You can tell that I am a man of few words when it comes to Judaism!”

  260. Marv Sager says:

    “You said to break a leg on the ice, but I preferred to TOE THE LINE of a beautiful symbol!”

  261. Marv Sager says:

    “My Rabbi said go out into the world and make your mark. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!”

  262. Rich Wolf says:

    “That’s great, but can you do a menorah?”

  263. Rich Wolf says:

    “I don’t think this counts as atonement.”

    1. Dale Stout says:

      Hi Rich-I should have looked more closely and seen your menorah caption first. Maybe it was subliminal plagiarism somehow-I’m sorry about that :^)

  264. Dale Stout says:

    You’re a real star, David.

  265. Marv Sager says:

    “My favorite game was ETCH-A-SKETCH! Any more requests?”

    1. Dale Stout says:

      Hi Marv-how about Etch-a-Kvetch? :^)

      1. Marv Sager says:

        Dale,

        Kvetch ‘N Kvell (Kvetch is a GOOD RHYME, and I Kvell at your “Jewish Humor!”) 🙂

  266. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I’ve mastered my Double and Triple Toe Loops and now I’m working on my Quad thru Sex-Salchows.”

  267. Dale Stout says:

    Are you Canadian, eh?

    1. Marv Sager says:

      “Yes, and my ice hockey hero is Gordie Howe!” 🙂

  268. Marv Sager says:

    “Politicians also do a lot of SKATING (around the issues)!”

  269. Dale Stout says:

    Now can you make a menorah?

  270. Marv Sager says:

    “Art is in the FEET of the BEHOLDER!”

  271. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I would love to be your doubles partner but the artist forgot to give me a left foot.”

  272. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I was supposed to do an exhibition skate here tonight but I am starting to get a case of cold feet.”

  273. Lee Lacewell says:

    “You really think I’m the best skater with only one foot in the state?”

  274. Marv Sager says:

    “Around & around I go, and where I stop, for the MOMENT, only Ben Schwartz knows for sure!”

  275. Lee Lacewell says:

    “…..But you were so geometrically challenged in high school.”

  276. Marv Sager says:

    “I don’t have time for more displays, due to unforeseen CIRCUMCISIONS!”

  277. Leelacewell@gmail.com says:

    “I did that with just one foot, let’s see what you can do with two feet Sweet Cheeks.”

  278. Lee Lacewell says:

    “There’s your sign.”

  279. Marv Sager says:

    “Some people see the writing on the wall, but I see a message scratched in the ice!”

  280. Dale Stout says:

    Everybody’s got an angle.

  281. Marv Sager says:

    “If it’s not written in stone, it might just melt away!”

  282. Lawrence Lesser says:

    Talking about Israel shouldn’t feel like skating on thin ice!

  283. Lawrence Lesser says:

    I’m too much a klutz to land a lutz!

  284. Larry Lesser says:

    I’m too much a klutz to land a lutz!

  285. Larry Lesser says:

    I’m too much a klutz to land a lutz.

  286. Larry Lesser says:

    Jewish identity shouldn’t feel like skating on thin ice!

  287. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Every day of the past three years you ask for my hand in marriage. I finally said yes. Now one week before the wedding you say you’re getting cold feet?”

  288. Marv Sager says:

    “When I am on water (even frozen), then my position is KVETCH & RELEASE! That’s how the Star of David appeared.”

    Dedicated to Dale Stout for his prior use of the word KVETCH.

  289. Ben Huberman says:

    For Winter 2024 Cartoon Contest ;

    “I’m working up to figure eights”

    Ben Huberman
    Sarasota, Florida

  290. Marv Sager says:

    “My talent comes from being heavy-footed, not heavy-handed!”

  291. The figure 8 is so overrated.

  292. Harold Sanger says:

    I was hoping for a necklace

  293. Marv Sager says:

    “The Star of David construction was easy compared to making Pandora’s Box (of chocolates) for St. Valentine’s Day!”

    1. Lee Lacewell says:

      “I suppose impressing Jewish Girls is a bit harder.”

  294. harry yaffe says:

    Welcome to the land of the Frozen Chosen.

  295. Marv Sager says:

    “Lunchtime with BAGELS & CREAM CHEESE & LOX with tired feet & Dr. Scholl’s!”

    1. Jim Gorman says:

      . . . Whoop, there it is, again!

      1. Marv Sager says:

        Yes, LUNCHTIME happens quite often! 🙂

  296. Suanne Scherr says:

    I kept humming HaTikvah.

  297. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Call me Bagel and I can call you Lox.”

  298. Suanne Scherr says:

    I always hum a song when I skate. This time it was HaTikvah.

  299. Marv Sager says:

    “I’m not a HANDy artist, but I am a FOOT SCULPTOR!”

  300. Mazal tov, David, star is born!

  301. OK, but mom says it’s no Carnegie Hall.

  302. Mazal tov, David, a star is born!

  303. “Well, I give you a 10.”

  304. “It’s very nice, but let’s see you daven.”

  305. “No way that was a triple Axel.”

  306. “There’s not a chance of making Google Earth.”

  307. Marv Sager says:

    “You scratch my back, and I will scratch AM YISRAEL CHAI on the ice!”

  308. Marv Sager says:

    “Bubbe always said to put one foot forward after another, and VOILA!”

  309. “Now let’s drive away with the Zamboni.”

  310. Marv Sager says:

    “If ice sculpture were an Olympic sport, then I could never be frozen out of the competition!”

  311. Marv Sager says:

    “If I could build a home on the ice rink, then I could have an OUTHOUSE with underwater plumbing!”

  312. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Bubbe said that would be an impressive work if it wasn’t too small to be visible from space.”

  313. Marv Sager says:

    “A bagel-lox-cream cheese treat is all I want. That’s not a bad temporary reward, but I’m just SCRATCHING THE SURFACE for recompense!”

  314. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Now a 3D Menorah…that would be impressive.”

  315. Marv Sager says:

    “You might say that I now have a FEET ACCOMPLI!”

  316. Lee Lacewell says:

    “Showoff!”

    1. Marv Sager says:

      “Moses needed 40 years in the desert to make a statement, but I only needed less than 40 seconds on the ice!” 🙂

  317. Lee Lacewell says:

    “I don’t think I take figure skating quite as serious as you!”

  318. Marv Sager says:

    “We now have two Jewish signs: a PEACE/SHALOM sign (with two fingers) and a STAR OF DAVID (with two feet) !”

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