Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest
Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.
Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!
Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.
Plus: Read interviews with some of our most prolific caption contest contributors here.
Submit a caption for this cartoon by May 15 by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!
Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!
“I don’t think this counts as atonement.”
— Rich Wolf, Westminster, MD
“You’re a real star, David.”
—Dale Stout, Colorado Springs, CO
“I was hoping for a necklace.”
—Harold Sanger, St. Louis, MO
Vote for your favorite! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.
Chuckle at the Winter 2024 winning caption—and see who wrote it!
“It’s usually right there in between the two cranberries.”
—Howie Slomka, Atlanta, GA
How to Submit Your Caption(s)
Submit as a comment below by May 15, 2024. Finalists will appear in the upcoming issue. To vote for the winner of the Spring 2024 contest (see finalists above), use the vote form.
“Whatever you do, don’t be a CRACK-POT person!” (Also, don’t GIVE ME A BREAK!)
This is just my warmup routine. Wait until you see my Hamsa Hand!
An elderly man was arrested for trespassing and called before a judge.
“You have been charged with trespassing on your neighbor’s property,” the judge intoned. “How do you plead?”
“Not guilty, your honor.”
“You were caught in your boxer shorts in your neighbor’s pond doing the backstroke directly in front of the sign that clearly said ‘Private. No swimming.’ Now how do you plead?”
“Not guilty,” the man insisted once again. “I’m not guilty because that is not what the sign said.”
“Really?” the judge challenged. “Just exactly what did the sign say, then?”
“The sign said, ‘Private? No. Swimming.’
“Since you wished for a DEVILISH good time, I summoned the Devil and he said, ‘To hell with you!'”
“Ask AI to tell us who will win the Super Bowl.”
“Vos is dos?”
“No matter what they ask for,don’t take off your clothes.”
“Yeshiva University never prepared me for this future!”
“If I was a RELIGIOUS ROBOT, then my life would be complete!”
“GOD helps those who help themselves to the AI-CHAT line!”
“You’ve been texting for more than two hours and you STILL don’t know whom you’re chatting with?”
“I asked about Nazis during WWII, and the response was, HITLER IST KAPUT!”
Is Ai kosher?
AiChat? We need to invent OyChat.
“I asked AI-CHAT if Vladimir Putin will PASS GAS BOMBS to his troops in Ukraine. The answer was if he swallows enough BEANS!”
“Ask him if he’s seen my Tallis.”
“C’mon, it’s not much different than talking with your wife.”
“It’s like talking with your kids, except you get intelligent responses.”
“AI-CHAT: Is there life after death? The answer was, ‘Are you dying to find out?”‘
Don’t hog the computer, it isn’t kosher.
Hurry up, I’m late for volleyball practice.
“AI-CHAT should I drink coffee before using the computer? (ANSWER) Yes, because usage is a daily grind!”
To HAL with it.
What the HAL?
“AI-CHAT (response): HAL-lelujah!” 🙂
Nice!
It takes two hands to handle a WOPR.
Beast two out of three?
I smell a Conspiracy Theory, or is that you?
How about a nice game of chess?
“The only winning move is not to play.”
That’s it, Jim :^)
“I asked AI-CHAT if the Messiah will be coming soon. (REPLY) Yes, as soon as he receives his security clearance!”
“Go ahead. Have it ask us anything.”
“To AI-CHAT: Is DOOMSDAY coming? (ANSWER) Yes, you are one day closer!”
Don’t kibitz or you’re kaput.
I can virtually drink anyone under the table.
Yes, a table with Dale (STOUT) beer! 🙂
“To AI-Chat: What is the secret to a LONG LIFE? ( Answer) A very LONG SLOW DEATH!”
“What’s IA?”
“Every time you have too much Manischewitz, we find you up here searching Burning Bush”
“To AI-Chat: Since life is a beautiful color world, what sexy color do you recommend? (Reply) 50 SHADES OF GRAY (of course)!”
AI Chat Cartoon Caption:
I wonder if they can make the female robots less bossy?
Does it say when the Messhia is coming?
“I know from a shtreimel, but what’s this AIC hat?”
“I ask if robots are destined to take our jobs, and if so, how soon can they start?”
“To AI-Chat: I’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places. What do you suggest? (Reply) Wear your glasses more often!”
“I think it’s pronounced ‘aichat’ as in challah’l
Sorry, Rebbe: I can’t add to, or subtract from, the Torah
“Ask it to prove that shrimp is kosher.”
“To AI-Chat: Why is kosher wine more expensive than similar regular wine? (ANSWER) You have to pay extra for GOD’S BLESSING!”
The AIbishster wants to have a chat with us??
Ooops, Rebbe, a typo. The “t” should be an “I.”
Why do you always answer a question with a question?
I didn’t say AI, I said “AI DI DI DI DAI”!
Funny you should ask….
“To AI-CHAT: Are the best things in life free? (REPLY) Yes, especially FREE ADVICE from AI-CHAT!”
The deadline for submitting cartoon captions has been extended to August 25th, so please send in yours! Need some AI comic inspiration? Check out Bob Mankoff’s “Oy, Oy, AI: What ChatGPT Can Tell Us About Jewish Jokes (https://momentmag.com/oy-oy-ai-what-chatgpt-can-tell-us-about-jewish-jokes/) and Bob’s entry in our AI symposium from the current issue: https://momentmag.com/is-artificial-intelligence-good-for-humanity/
If it can’t answer the TAIKU questions, what good is it?
Is from my mother… she created an AI account that tells me I never write, call or chat…I feel so guilty…virtually!
Computer, what is a Kanye West?
“Find out if we can be on America’s Got Talent.”
“Get it to write me a funny line.”
“To AI-CHAT: Why do the DRECK BOYS hate bagels? (ANSWER) With their DULL MINDS, they accuse the Jewish bakers of making too much dough!”
“Oh no, it says job seeking ‘AI Robots’ don’t require Cream Cheese Bagels either!”
“Learning the Moonwalk in the 80’s was bad enough; How will we ever master these Robot dance moves?”
“I pronounce it meh.”
“To AI-CHAT: Do you enjoy CYBER SEX? (REPLY) Yes, just push my buttons!”
AI? Must be Abraham and Isaac speaking with us from beyond.
“So where’s the Yiddishkeit?”
“Can a Jewish AI-CHAT always be right? (ANSWER) Yes, because we answer to a HIGHER AUTHORITY!”
“I’d trust my own fashion sense over that thing any day.”
“Now I believe you inquire what it’s wearing.”
“Impressive, sure, but I’m still against counting it in our minyan.”
“I hear it can scroll.”
“What’s behind AREA 51 in Nevada? (ANSWER) AREA 50 caliber machine guns pointed at you should you trespass!”
“Does Israel have secret weapons to defeat its enemies? (ANSWER) Yes, it’s called BRAINS & CHUTZPAH!”
“Why are there so many anti-Semites in the world? (REPLY) According to the old saying: There’s a SUCKER born every minute!”
“Stop nooging me, my sermon is just printing out now!”
“Eactly how long have you known about these apps for writing sermons?”
“May I call you BOYCHIK, AI? (Answer) Yes, RABBI SHMEGEGGE!”
“Does AI-CHAT have a motto? (ANSWER) Yes: TURN ON, TUNE IN, and PAY YOUR WI-FI BILL!”
“How long have you known about these apps for writing sermons?”
“What is the shrewdest animal in the world? (RESPONSE) A wise old OWL, but nobody gives a HOOT!”
(Why aren’t there more cartoon captions? I guess nobody for the MOMENT gives a HOOT here either!)
The sun is setting. Your gout is not as important as my drash.
Good caption.
“It’s the quicker picker upper”
Caption:
“I didn’t quite finish that last part, would you mind scrolling down a bit?”
“Again, you’re menschspreading.”
“Must you read the whole thing? There’s an abridged version of it in last month’s Reader’s Digest.”
“Isn’t that out yet in paperpack?”
“Check if there’s a law against what you’re doing.”
“Then your subway map must be in what you call the aron kodesh.”
“Did the Maccabees win last night?”
“I think there’s a microfiche version.”
“I am not a Jewish scholar, but I am auditioning for a role in the Yentl revival.”
“Cartoon captions should be included in the Torah, because I enjoy laughing while I’m reading.”
“The wooden shafts discourage subway hooligans.”
“Now I’m getting to the good parts.”
“I’m afraid that the kiosks don’t carry this item.”
“In case of emergency, save the Torah, and I will hang on to the handles.”
“This is public transportation, where some people are happy to lean on a pole while others are happy to sit and scroll.”
“God, it’s so hard to read these old subway maps!”
“I read the Torah to understand Yiddish graffiti.”
“It’s simple. Hold up the left side and it automatically scrolls right. Hold up the right side and it automatically scrolls left.”
“I just got it. It has the largest rollable flat display screen available.”
“According to the dress code, everyone must cover up properly. This Torah scroll covers me up properly.”
“Here we prefer doomscrolling.”
“If I chant Etz Chaim, will you put that away?”
“The reason why I hold on to my Torah is that it doesn’t fit in my backpack.”
“The bumfodder is missing from the loo”
“By opening the Torah scroll on the tram, I am BENSCHSPREADING the word of GOD from one location to another!”
“Everybody thinks that you’re studying religious tracts, but they’re only crossword puzzles.”
do they have that in an audiobook?
“I asked GOD to send me a message. I didn’t expect the WHOLE MEGILLAH!”
“To me the Torah is like the ocean. As I scroll I’m really paddling to keep myself afloat.”
“These are the times that try men’s SOUL SEARCHING!”
“I am preparing for my Bar Mitzvah.You are all invited.”
The aleph in the eighteenth row of the middle column is badly damaged.
My homework assignment
“I need to be closer to GOD and his Torah. Therefore, I require new contact lenses to focus!”
For new cartoon of Hasid reading the Torah on the Subway…
(HEADLINE) TORAH TIMES
JOSEPH RELEASED FROM PRISON!!!!!!!!
CHIEF BAKER HANGED IN CONSPIRACY TO HARM THE PHAROH!!!!!!!!!!!!
In other news…cupbearer returns to duty…………
Scroll down to accept all
“Row, row, row your Torah gently down the stream … ”
…”
You’re on the local. You may want to stand up and finish off the parsha before the next stop.
To the Fall 2023 cartoon: “I’m Jewish. This is how we roll.”
“You’re taking online scrolling to a whole new level.”
“Once I start, I have to finish!
OK by me. After all, they say that on airplanes the person in the middle seat gets both arm rests.
And you thought Subway nourishment was just a sandwich!
Jim Berk
West Bloomfield, Michigan
(If I wrote the Torah, then I would include a few Jewish words for the DRECK BOYS of the January 6th insurrection:)
“Enjoy your federal prison rat cells in hellish conditions KAKN un SHTINKEN because of your stupidity! AMEN!”
“Rabbi,I know we said we would follow you anywhere but the subway out of Manhattan during rush hour is asking too much.”
Excuse me, sir, but you’re torah-spreading.
“Some people like to rock’n roll; me, I like to scroll’n scroll.”
Can you keep scrolling and let me know how it ends.
this is for the oct contest_____ must have had trouble paying his fare
“It’s a good day to read the Torah. Besides, my hometown professional football team is not playing this week!”
“How long have you had that Rail Pass?”
“DOES IT HAVE YOUR HOROSCOPE?”
“Wouldn’t it be easier on Kindle?”
“Does it have your horoscope?”
“Are you reading your horoscope?”
⁹Scrollin, ….scrollin,….scrollin on the river.”
Any pictures I might like
Torah Spreading? Man Spreading with a mission?
“I just read the Torah without interpreting the meaning. After all, I don’t possess Artificial Intelligence!”
women: is that heavy
hassid: it ain’t heavy, its my father
Could you start ‘In the Beginning’?
Adam and Eve naked? Don’t give anyone ideas.
Do you read the ‘Wailing Wall Street Journal’?
It’s amazing you don’t need glasses. It’s upside down.
Manspreading out so far and wide, take Manhattan but give me that countryside. (Sung to the theme song for Green Acres)
I’m reading some WWII history, it’s called ‘Tora, Tora, Tora’.
I see quite a few weddings and obituaries in there.
Here comes the Underpass Passover.
“Doomscrolling?”
“Could you please stop manna-spreading?”
Nice one.
“What’d you expect on the Dead C train?”
“According to the Torah, life is a journey. On the Metro, you might be taking a ride on the WILD SIDE!”
“This is like fishing for wisdom. The problem is that the waters are often too deep.”
“Yes, you did miss the Red Sea station. Next stop, Sinai.”
“Did the Yankees beat the Red Socks?”
“The world would be a better place if there were more Torah and less man spreading.”
“My psychiatrist indicated that I have a problem with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) because I constantly read the Torah.
But I informed my psychiatrist that I only read the Torah during the day, and dream about the Torah at night.
Therefore, my psychiatrist assured me that I have only HALF a PROBLEM!”
“My psychiatrist told me that I have a problem with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) because I constantly read the Torah.
I told him that I only read the Torah during the day, and dream about the Torah at night.
Therefore, my psychiatrist assured me that I only have HALF a PROBLEM!”
“It says right here…. ‘Though shall not read over one’s shoulder.’ “
One of my newspapers yesterday pointed out that there is a growing acceptance in society that artificial intelligence will enter us into an era of understanding each other’s thoughts. Do we need a new song to introduce us to the new possibilities? How about “Send in the Clones” by the late Stephen Sondheim?
I didn’t mean for the latter to be a misleading submission, but for some reason It didn’t allow for my name to accompany it– just as well if you consider the bad pun. Sondheim would probably be aghast if he somehow saw it. Sorry again.
This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “scroll down.”
“I cherish sitting & reading the Torah. When I stand up I feel that my soul is UPLIFTED!”
“Try scrolling to the bottom… then tap ‘accept terms’.”
“How many times must I tell the scribes, it’s I before E except after C?”
“May I offer you something with vowels?”
“Because I am a SUPER SCHOLAR of the Torah, this Halloween I will wear a costume with the Star of David and the letters TRUE (TORAH-‘R-US-ECCENTRICS)!”
“I will grant peace in the land, and you shall lie down untroubled by anyone.” When? It doesn’t say.
“This has nothing to do with religion. I’m trying to read a roll of bathroom tissue.”
“Riding the subway and reading the Torah makes you feel safe. OtherWISE, carry your iPhone ready to dial 911!”
“I’m not saying Biden is old,but isn’t that his signature at the bottom.”
“How do you send ‘friend request’ on that?”
“Is it true that scrolls had to be enlarged when the Middle Ages arrived?”
“I often chant in a low Yiddish vulgar voice when riding the subway & holding the Torah. This is my way of cursing those annoying people next to me!”
“You could be kicked off this train for Torahspreading.”
For October 2023 caption contest:
“I got mine from Goodreads. You?”
OR
“My book is a top ten bestseller. How about yours?”
Thanks! Michelle Gustafson
Madison, Wisconsin
Michelle,
Two good captions. As Oliver Twist might sak, “May we have some more?”
“I read the Torah to learn about the good life. My wife teaches me about everyday troublesome life.
Lastly, my mother-in-law preaches to me about HELL & DAMNATION!”
Nu Rabbi, What’s New?
“I do my scrolling on social media.”
“I never broke a sweat the first time I went scrolling. It definitely was a DRY RUN!”
“I took it to Antiques Road Show today and it turns out it’s not worth the sticks it’s rolled up on.”
“Once while riding the subway, I gave my Torah a big hug.
The man next to me said sarcastically, ‘Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.’
I replied, ‘Thanks for your concern, Mr. Whipple!'”
“I carry this Torah because I couldn’t carry the Ark of the Covenant by myself (even if I could find it somewhere)!”
This seems to be a moment frozen in time.
“If Hamas had developed a subway system in their tunnels, then I would have considered reading the Torah to the Palestinians in Gaza.
Then again, I am capable of NIGHTMARES when thinking about Hamas!”
(Don’t you have NIGHTMARES for the MOMENT, or FREEZE UP according to Lee Lacewll.)
“I could have been an astronaut and blasted off to the moon. But, there are no subways already built for me to read my Torah!”
(Looks like I will be around the U.S.A. for the MOMENT! Will you join me, or do you plan to BLAST OFF somewhere?)
“Reading the Torah on the Metro requires adequate lighting with good eyesight, better known as TUNNEL VISION!”
“It’s turkey BRIS TIME!”
“I thought you said you were making a BRISket!”
“The turkey is stuffed and soon you will be too!”
“White meat, dark meat, or VEGAN?”
“This is practice before the next Bris.”
“First of all we can be thankful we are not turkeys.”
“Another FOWL meal without the FOUL taste!”
“Are you sure this is the right bird?”
“This is my favorite kind of briss. The patient
is in no pain during the surgery and even smiles at me later.”
“If my cooked turkey could speak, it would say, ‘GOBBLE-GOBBLE me up’ because I’m TENDER HEARTED!”
“I feel sorry for him but damn,he looks delicious.”
“I don’t know if ELIJAH will decide to PASSOVER our (open door) invitation for Thanksgiving dinner.”
“I do better on the giblets.”
“I came home, trimmed my beard, and then I prepared this dinner, with all the trimmings, according to directions I found in a large scroll on the midtown train.
“I won a 20-pound frozen turkey from the internet. I only had to pay shipping & handling & taxes & a donation to MOMENT!”
“We can be thankful for the delivery driver that left all this delicious food at the wrong address.”
“All of my knives are dull so while I was trimming my beard this morning I thought why not carve the turkey with my grooming sissors?”
“One home oven cooked turkey is worth ten Rotessorie Chickens from Walmart or Cosco.”
“The President pardoned 2 turkeys. This is just one of the many turkeys he rejected for Americans to enjoy eating!
That’s why we call this holiday, THANKSGIVING!”
“Trump, while in office, pardoned two MAGA Turkeys, but later he was told they were actually anti-MAGA. Now he has promised, on his first day back in office, to have both jailed until the next Thanksgiving then deep fried on National Television.”
“The above Trump comment above is meant to be in jest. I do not mean to imply that he would actually resort to such tactics involving poor defenseless animals. I think if re-elected he will be too busy trying to do the same to his perceived human enemies.”
People wonder if there is a connection between the words “giblet” and “gevalt.” Allow me, before carving the turkey, a brief word on this interesting topic.
“Did anyone ever tell you that with that hair you look a little like a turkey?”
“You have a choice of a WING & a PRAYER, a LEG to STAND ON, and/or a BREAST to NIPple AWAY your hunger!”
“Would it have killed any of you to have brought a dessert or maybe a few bagels with cream cheese?”
. . . Whoop, there it is!
“The turkey has been in my freezer a while and the ‘best by date’ was ten years ago; I think it should still be ok, don’t you?”
“Washington, D.C. had a ‘TURKEY ROAST’ this past week. George Santos was the guest of dishonor and was expelled from Congress.
When asked for a comment, George (JEW-ISH) Santos said when leaving, ‘GET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN PLACE!’
Poor ex-Congressman Santos couldn’t believe that others didn’t appreciate his talent to lie & commit fraud (allegedly)!”
“It is said that George Santos never lets truth get in the way of anything he has to say.”
At least George Santos in his warped mind has the memory of his mother in the 911 Twin Towers, his grandparents from the Holocaust,
and most of all his vast college education to sustain him! 🙂
Very well stated!
“It’s a Harry turkey, they were out of Tom and Dick turkeys.”
“I was out of stuffing mix so I used left over bagels and cream cheese.”
“I find if I don’t serve any type of drink the food goes much further and everyone goes home sooner.”
“My preferred method of cutting the turkey is to use scissors to produce all the TRIMMINGS!”
“Bubbe mistakenly refers to the long car drive to buy our kosher turkey as ROAD KILL!”
Are you sure it’s a boy?
“Someone went a little too far with the circumcision and then left all his parts in a bag. Who wants the Bishops nose?”
“The Uber driver dropped me at the wrong address. Do you want me to go ahead and trim the turkey anyway?”
“Don’t worry, it’s a bris.
“The shochet told me at the end of the day he couldn’t tell one turkey from another. After all, no heads or DNA blood were kept!”
Bubble said there’d be days like this,….there’d be days like this,…. my Bubbe said.”
Opps! The first Bubbe got changed by spell check to include an L. .
“This is Bubbe’s special recipe. It’s an extra large turkey stuffed with a duck that has been stuffed with a chicken that was stuffed with two small game hens.”
As my nephew Mr. Glickstein is unschooled in such matters and has therefore has appointed me his agent, and with the permission of his equally inept wife, I am now ready and prepared to cut the turkey.
People wonder if there is a connection between the words “giblet” and “gevalt.” Allow me, before carving the turkey, a brief word on this interesting topic.
“Can anyone come up with a blessing for this?”
“Bless this turkey that has been properly plucked so it will not have RUFFLED FEATHERS!”
Thanks, Marv!
YOU’RE WELCOME! (Glad to be on the same page!)
Anyone for an extra slice?
“Sorry, but the carving knife is on backorder.”
“I want to invite my family & friends to the next turkey dinner, but for the MOMENT my comment is AWAITING MODERATION!”
“It’s usually right there in between the 2 cranberries.”
Two drumsticks, three thighs , and four skins
Which turkey needs circumcision?
Anyone for a wing and a prayer?
Mom always wanted me to be a surgeon.
I’ll open, you close.
“Does anyone see a dotted line?”
“Eating too much Thanksgiving food will cause a MAD (WOBBLE-WOBBLE) TURKEY TROT to the bathroom!”
“This is 3480 East Highland Park?”
Caption:
“Better to snip late than never.”
“Is anybody here in a hurry?”
“Why is everybody so snippy?”
Caption:
“Better late than never!”
“Usually I work smaller.”
“My next turkey will be in a bottle called, WILD TURKEY!”
“Drinking WILD TURKEY does not need a hunting license!”
“To me, eating & drinking a WILD TURKEY is the complete meal!”
“Wild Turkey can be a great medicine to keep in your cabinet. It kills bacteria, helps with cold and flu. Although I have discovered that it is not a good substitute for lighting charcoal. I only tried that in a pinch one time. Maybe if I hadn’t closed the lid on my grill and left the charcoal to soak it woudn’t have lost my eybrows.”
Eyebrows.”
Oops, wrong house.
You can give it a Hebrew name without going this far.
“I have been taking an online barber course. I need some actual snipping experience, so before we eat, would anyone like a quick trim?”
Caption:
“After working 4o years in the field of cosmetology, Richard started to find the line between home and work time increasingly blurred.”
Caption:
“A little off the top?”
“The cartoonist again has provided us with drawings of food, so I will be snipping and serving clippings of each food item. Who wants a clipped wing?”
Isn’t it a little late for the bris?
“We’ll get started as soon as the little thingy pops up!”
“Is anyone else missing the thoughts and wise writings of Gerald Lebowitz and Marv Sager? Moments here are just not the same when either half of the dynamic duo goes away.”
🙁
Lee,
Thanks for graciously mentioning my name along with Gerald Lebowitz.
There are many outstanding cartoon caption contributors on Momentum, and I am always inspired by their whimsical & thoughtful entries.
Needless to say, I am always here on this blog in spirit and will continue to add my SILLY NONSENSE (whether appropriate or not)!
Keep up your encouragement to others as we need as many enthusiastic people as yourself!
“If you think that I am doing this again next year, then my response is I’m going COLD TURKEY!”
“Trigger warning.”
“I’d rather see a diamond.”
Good one!
“Have you ever heard of crop circles?”
“As we get to be better skaters,we can try things like The Dome of the Rock.”
“These are not the days of wine & roses, but they are the days of turkey feathers & bones. The memories linger onward!”
“I promised you a JEWISH STAR of DAVID surprise for your birthday!”
“You can tell that I am a man of few words when it comes to Judaism!”
“You said to break a leg on the ice, but I preferred to TOE THE LINE of a beautiful symbol!”
“My Rabbi said go out into the world and make your mark. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!”
“That’s great, but can you do a menorah?”
“I don’t think this counts as atonement.”
Hi Rich-I should have looked more closely and seen your menorah caption first. Maybe it was subliminal plagiarism somehow-I’m sorry about that :^)
You’re a real star, David.
“My favorite game was ETCH-A-SKETCH! Any more requests?”
Hi Marv-how about Etch-a-Kvetch? :^)
Dale,
Kvetch ‘N Kvell (Kvetch is a GOOD RHYME, and I Kvell at your “Jewish Humor!”) 🙂
“I’ve mastered my Double and Triple Toe Loops and now I’m working on my Quad thru Sex-Salchows.”
Are you Canadian, eh?
“Yes, and my ice hockey hero is Gordie Howe!” 🙂
“Politicians also do a lot of SKATING (around the issues)!”
Now can you make a menorah?
“Art is in the FEET of the BEHOLDER!”
“I would love to be your doubles partner but the artist forgot to give me a left foot.”
“I was supposed to do an exhibition skate here tonight but I am starting to get a case of cold feet.”
“You really think I’m the best skater with only one foot in the state?”
“Around & around I go, and where I stop, for the MOMENT, only Ben Schwartz knows for sure!”
“…..But you were so geometrically challenged in high school.”
“I don’t have time for more displays, due to unforeseen CIRCUMCISIONS!”
“I did that with just one foot, let’s see what you can do with two feet Sweet Cheeks.”
“There’s your sign.”
“Some people see the writing on the wall, but I see a message scratched in the ice!”
Everybody’s got an angle.
“If it’s not written in stone, it might just melt away!”
Talking about Israel shouldn’t feel like skating on thin ice!
I’m too much a klutz to land a lutz!
I’m too much a klutz to land a lutz!
I’m too much a klutz to land a lutz.
Jewish identity shouldn’t feel like skating on thin ice!
“Every day of the past three years you ask for my hand in marriage. I finally said yes. Now one week before the wedding you say you’re getting cold feet?”
“When I am on water (even frozen), then my position is KVETCH & RELEASE! That’s how the Star of David appeared.”
Dedicated to Dale Stout for his prior use of the word KVETCH.
For Winter 2024 Cartoon Contest ;
“I’m working up to figure eights”
Ben Huberman
Sarasota, Florida
“My talent comes from being heavy-footed, not heavy-handed!”
The figure 8 is so overrated.
I was hoping for a necklace
“The Star of David construction was easy compared to making Pandora’s Box (of chocolates) for St. Valentine’s Day!”
“I suppose impressing Jewish Girls is a bit harder.”
Welcome to the land of the Frozen Chosen.
“Lunchtime with BAGELS & CREAM CHEESE & LOX with tired feet & Dr. Scholl’s!”
. . . Whoop, there it is, again!
Yes, LUNCHTIME happens quite often! 🙂
I kept humming HaTikvah.
“Call me Bagel and I can call you Lox.”
I always hum a song when I skate. This time it was HaTikvah.
“I’m not a HANDy artist, but I am a FOOT SCULPTOR!”
Mazal tov, David, star is born!
OK, but mom says it’s no Carnegie Hall.
Mazal tov, David, a star is born!
“Well, I give you a 10.”
“It’s very nice, but let’s see you daven.”
“No way that was a triple Axel.”
“There’s not a chance of making Google Earth.”
“You scratch my back, and I will scratch AM YISRAEL CHAI on the ice!”
“Bubbe always said to put one foot forward after another, and VOILA!”
“Now let’s drive away with the Zamboni.”
“If ice sculpture were an Olympic sport, then I could never be frozen out of the competition!”
“If I could build a home on the ice rink, then I could have an OUTHOUSE with underwater plumbing!”
“Bubbe said that would be an impressive work if it wasn’t too small to be visible from space.”
“A bagel-lox-cream cheese treat is all I want. That’s not a bad temporary reward, but I’m just SCRATCHING THE SURFACE for recompense!”
“Now a 3D Menorah…that would be impressive.”
“You might say that I now have a FEET ACCOMPLI!”
“Showoff!”
“Moses needed 40 years in the desert to make a statement, but I only needed less than 40 seconds on the ice!” 🙂
“I don’t think I take figure skating quite as serious as you!”
“We now have two Jewish signs: a PEACE/SHALOM sign (with two fingers) and a STAR OF DAVID (with two feet) !”
“Shall I call you Moses?”
“Your Mediterranean diet isn’t working!”
“Take two dates and call me in the morning!”