Friday, September 21, 2018

A Jewish Woman’s Visceral Reaction to Buzzfeed’s 51 Hottest Jewish Men

A Jewish Woman’s Visceral Reaction to Buzzfeed’s 51 Hottest Jewish Men

July 17, 2013 in Arts & Culture, Latest
10 Comments

 

There are so many questions about this Buzzfeed list. Why so many? Why 51 instead of 50? Does anyone think Jeff Goldblum is hot? And if they do would they really rank him as #16?

Obviously taste is subjective but there are some serious issues here. In honor of Buzzfeed here are my objections— listform

Adam Brody as #1?

Really Buzzfeed? Is it 2003? Even as someone who religiously watched the OC as a middle and highschool-er, it’s been six years since Brody was even a conversation starter as Seth Cohen. What has he even been doing since then? It seems he tried to go the Zach Braff (the Scrubs actor is also on this list) route with the indie movies…it didn’t really work. I’m sorry Adam Brody; you’re going to be synonymous with Orange County, Seth Cohen and Chrismakkuh forever.

Why is Mandy Patinkin on this list… at all?

Once again Buzzfeed, Mandy Patinkin was hot in 1987 as Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride but most of the people who are reading your article are too young to have even heard of The Princess Bride. (If you haven’t seen it, please remedy immediately)

Drake isn’t on this list?

Lenny Kravitz and Craig David both make it but Aubrey Graham aka Drake doesn’t? Drake even did a fake re-creation of his Bar Mitzvah in the HYFR video and is currently one of the hottest rappers on the scene. He also happens to be Jewish, surprise surprise. (Mom, check him out.)

Maybe I’m just getting old but I don’t have a clue who some of these people are

For instance, Ben Barnes, Joshua Bowman and Skylar Astin… who are you? If it weren’t for context clues in each photo, I don’t think I’d ever guess. I don’t watch ABCFamily TV or Tween movies. A little explanation never hurt, Buzzfeed. I had to take them at their beautiful face value.

What about a little love for those behind the camera?

Steven Spielberg, J.J. Abrams, Judd Apatow, Serge Gainsbourg, Oliver Stone, Darren Aronofsky… The list can go on and on. Directors deserve some love on this list too but maybe I’m jumping the gun and Buzzfeed has a sequel in the works.

I do have to say the list was educational, there were so many actors I did not know were Jewish— Hank Azaria, Scott Caan, Eric Dane, Gabriel Macht, The Franco brothers, Jake Gyllenhaal… there needs to be a PSA with this information so Jewish girls like me can know who their parents approve of in advance. Although I know that even if I were dating James Franco, he isn’t a doctor or lawyer or accountant and therefore my mom would still be rooting for JDate to win out over that relationship.

Buzzfeed, I can’t knock you for a noble try but lets try to stay current. Remember everyone who is eighteen now was born in 1995. Next time try crowdsourcing and I promise Adam Brody wouldn’t even end up in the top ten.

10 Comments
  • Marlon 18:37h, 17 July Reply

    This article gave ME a visceral reaction–one of LOVE!!!! AMAZING piece! Totally hilarious and relevant! Keep em coming, Samantha!

  • bee 21:13h, 17 July Reply

    “Maybe I’m just getting old but I don’t have a clue who some of these people are”

    There are quite a lot of Jewish actors among young, attractive, actors, and always have been. Sometimes these actors, like many other younger actors, never become that famous.

    My favorite is Logan Lerman, who could become the male version of Natalie Portman. He was ranked way too low on that list.

  • Arlene 17:33h, 19 July Reply

    Fantastically hilarious piece. Politely disagree about Mandy though; with age and experience come a different kind of sexiness. I can’t wait to read your next post Samantha. Well done.

  • Tibby 17:43h, 19 July Reply

    Where are all the Jewish transgendered people? This is too heteronormative for my taste. Please adapt your writing to the 21st century. Thank you.

  • Burt 17:47h, 19 July Reply

    Wow! I had no idea Drake was Jewish! His skin is such a cafe con leche tone, almost as if he fell into a pool of after-all-the-cocoa-puffs-are-gone milk! I admire your foresight. Great work.

  • Gwen 18:09h, 24 July Reply

    This is amazing! So funny! I hope to see more from you in the future Samantha!

  • Blair 19:57h, 24 July Reply

    I loved this post! Samantha, I hope your mother reads this and looks up these eligible gentlemen haha! I can’t wait to hear much more from you!

  • Susan 20:54h, 20 August Reply

    Ha-ha-ha This is very funny. Mandy Patinkin is a very sexy man for my generation, though, Samantha. Otherwise, you are correct. I do not know any of these names very well. I enjoyed reading this.

  • Marni 21:01h, 20 August Reply

    I loved this so much!! I love the OC and Adam Brody though, SO, I’m biased and think he is AMAZING. But, I get it, he shouldnt be number one… Adam Levine should be.

  • Melanie 21:11h, 20 August Reply

    Absolutely HILARIOUS! As a Jewish 20-something I have been waiting for Moment to connect on my level. (Im)patiently waiting for more Samantha!

    P.S. Adam Brody is still a cutie, even post-O.C.

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