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Thursday, March 22, 2018

Cartoon Caption Contest

Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest


Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.


Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!


Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.



Submit a caption for this cartoon by April 20th by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!


Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!


“I told you that I got the flu shot two weeks ago.”
Gerald Lebowitz, New York, NY

“So, whatcha readin’?”
Richard Wolf, Westminster, MD

“At least tonight it’s not a headache.”
Stephen Nadler, Princeton, NJ


Vote For Your Favorite Cartoon Caption

Vote for the winner of the January/February 2017 contest! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.



Chuckle at the November/December 2017 winning caption—and see who wrote it!


“And why Super-man? What was wrong with Schultz-man?” — Adrian Storisteanu, Toronto, ON, Canada

How to Submit Your Caption(s)

Submit as a comment below by April 20, 2017. Finalists will appear in the May/June 2018 issue. To vote for the winner of the January/February 2018 contest (see finalists above), use the “vote form.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 13:38h, 13 July Reply

    “Don’t worry! Most of the bugs from the previous release were fixed.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 13:44h, 13 July Reply

    “On a full charge, the shaking is virtually eliminated.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 13:49h, 13 July Reply

    “If anything during the procedure goes wrong, just press Ctrl Alt Delete'”.

  • Adrian Storisteanu 13:51h, 13 July Reply

    “My success rate is covfefe.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 15:07h, 13 July Reply

    “There is nothing to worry about, as long as the wi-fi connection is two bars or more.”

    [Good grief, I’m on a roll (or a bagel)…]

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:49h, 13 July Reply

    “Don’t worry. I have the whole procedure down to a science. Nothing can possibly go wrong … can possibly go wrong … can possibly go wrong … can possibly go wrong …”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:54h, 13 July Reply

    “Don’t worry. I have the whole procedure down to a science. Nothing can possibly go wrong … go wrong … go wrong … go wrong … go wrong.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:41h, 13 July Reply

    “They said they were going to reduce the risk, but I didn’t think they’d go this far.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:53h, 13 July Reply

    Mr. S, it will take a lot for any of us to beat your third submission. There are many mistakes that simply pressing the delete key won’t correct, and your line makes this point superbly. Thank you.

    • Adrian Storisteanu 18:25h, 13 July Reply

      : – )

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:16h, 13 July Reply

    “Your baby is in good hands. I have been fully ordained as an unorthodox rabbi.”

  • Ben Zvi 18:57h, 13 July Reply

    “Don’t worry, the “short” in my circuitry has been dealt with.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 09:26h, 14 July Reply

    For Adrian Storisteanu:

    Yes, modern technology is really neat.
    You can make a bad error, be less than discreet,
    Be rude with somebody or send the wrong tweet
    Or lose your balance and be knocked off your feet.
    You can always go back and recover your beat
    By simply just pressing “ctrl” “alt” “delete.”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 10:03h, 14 July Reply

      Ha-ha, excellence in six witty lines of verse!

  • Dinah Rokach 09:47h, 14 July Reply

    “Relax, no metzizah b’peh.”

  • Joshua Rokach 10:31h, 14 July Reply

    “I am my own sandak.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:25h, 14 July Reply

    Thanks, but it took me SIX lines to say what you said in ONE. Economy is a virtue. I can talk around things, but you wait until you grasp the very essence and then strike, like a master chess player waiting for his opportunity to make his move.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:28h, 14 July Reply

    “There is no reason to be concerned. I have been programmed to return any excess.”

  • Jim Gorman 12:56h, 14 July Reply

    “My inventor saw the ‘Flowbee’ infomercial and thought: ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:34h, 14 July Reply

    “We know that you will be satisfied with our new service and are happy that you are taking advantage of our introductory cut-price promotion.”

  • Miriam Klepper 23:15h, 14 July Reply

    A new service sent to you courtesy of Russia. Don’t worry, I’ve been programmed not to “hack.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:55h, 15 July Reply

    “You ask about my background? Before I got this job, I worked for a landscaper as an expert pruner of trees and shrubs.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:57h, 15 July Reply

    “You ask about my qualifications? Before I got this job, I worked for a landscaper as an expert pruner of trees and shrubs.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:03h, 15 July Reply

    “Can’t you see that I’m male? How many women do you know that wear tefillin.?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:47h, 15 July Reply

    “Our medical insurance for this procedure comes with a quarter-inch deductible.”

  • Dale Stout 23:12h, 15 July Reply

    Everyone calls me ‘Rabbi the Robot’.

  • Jim Gorman 11:12h, 16 July Reply

    “Ever since I was a tiny can opener I tended to ‘self identify” as a mohel. A LGBTM group took up my cause; and the rest, as they say, is history!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:57h, 16 July Reply

    “Before this, I worked for a glatt kosher butcher.”

  • Stephen Nadler 21:59h, 16 July Reply

    “When did we become beta testers?”

  • Stephen Nadler 22:01h, 16 July Reply

    “I thought this would be more hands-on.”

  • Marvin Sager 10:39h, 17 July Reply

    After every procedure the MOHEL-BOT 3000 responds, “Es tut mir vey!”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 15:38h, 17 July Reply

    “The online help says it’s ‘measure *once*’…”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:47h, 18 July Reply

    “Mohel-Bot 2999 was recalled because it took off too much.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:46h, 19 July Reply

    “You ask what happened to the MOHEL-BOT that was here before me? Unfortunately, he forgot his previous training as a barber and kept taking too much off the top.”

  • gerald lebowitz 15:30h, 19 July Reply

    “The wine is for me, not the baby. I need it to lubricate my joints.”

  • Stephen Nadler 16:54h, 20 July Reply

    “You and your cutting edge technology!”

  • Stephen Nadler 17:02h, 20 July Reply

    “Must we always be the first?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:48h, 20 July Reply

    To Stephen Nadler:

    What GREAT captions , BOTH of them! Why didn’t I think of them??? You’re a great competitor. Being the chosen people, of course, is the key that often opens the door to the opportunity of being first. (In the example of Dr. Schwartz’s cartoon, of course, it’s a distinct DISadvantage.) Imitating Oliver Twist requesting an extra portion of food at the table, I have to ask, in this land of captions, “May we have some more?”

    • Stephen Nadler 18:27h, 20 July Reply

      I’ll try, but for the moment you’ve left me speechless, Gerald.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 19:06h, 20 July Reply

    Opening up this page and looking at the entries is like opening up bitrhday presents and marveling at the contents. The people who post here are creative and smart and funny and always teach me that there are innumerable ways of seeing and that nobody really has the last word.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:19h, 20 July Reply

    “We’re the Chosen People. Is this what we’ve been chosen for?”

  • Bob Holtz 16:38h, 21 July Reply

    Such a moil…

  • Merrick Furst 17:48h, 22 July Reply

    “Would this be a good length?”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 23:45h, 22 July Reply

    “If it works out, we should buy one for the kitchen.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:31h, 23 July Reply

    Mr. S, like all good humor, your caption opens a door. For example, if the mohel profession were–pardon the expression–downsized and some mohels lost their jobs , what other duties could they perform? (Some mohels today ARE losing their jobs to mohelets, female mohels, particularly in the reformed and, to some extent, the conservative movement.) Maybe downsized mohels could slice bread and cheese and cold cuts in a deli? Maybe they could do film editing? Maybe slice and dice commercials on TV? Maybe peeling potatoes in a restaurant? It seems that the additional MOHEL-BOT in your caption would have plenty to occupy him after all. Thanks.

  • Adrian Storisteanu 16:04h, 07 September Reply

    “Reform, of course.”

  • Rich Wolf 17:02h, 07 September Reply

    “I know it’s overkill but I want to be sure.”

  • Rich Wolf 17:03h, 07 September Reply

    “I only wear it on Fridays when we go into town.”

  • Rich Wolf 17:05h, 07 September Reply

    “All I said was ‘bacon and eggs sounds yummy’, and it’s slop for a year.”

  • Rich Wolf 17:12h, 07 September Reply

    “I kinda felt sorry for the guy; he said his name was Mankoff and this was his second career selling yarmulkes.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:38h, 07 September Reply

    “I may be it, but I’m not allowed to eat it.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:43h, 07 September Reply

    “So I’m an Orthodox Jewish pig. Does that justify people insulting me by calling me an oxymoron?”

  • marvin sager 17:52h, 07 September Reply

    Raybn di sude!

  • D Rokach 18:03h, 07 September Reply

    “I converted.”

  • Joshua Rokach 19:09h, 07 September Reply

    “Is this slop kosher?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:55h, 08 September Reply

    “If they expect me to keep on producing kosher bacon, then they’d better hire a mashgiach.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:25h, 08 September Reply

    “If they expect me to produce kosher bacon, then they’d better hire a mashgiach.”

    (This is a revision of my previous caption. After re-reading it, I realized how ridiculous it sounded. The pig in question would produce kosher bacon only once and then would expire–there’d be no way for him to “keep on.” I’ll have to be more careful. Sorry.)

  • Adrian Storisteanu 15:32h, 08 September Reply

    “Hog Sameach!”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 15:40h, 08 September Reply

    “No, it’s not just for the holidays.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 15:49h, 08 September Reply

    “No, I said we can fly *EL AL*.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:14h, 08 September Reply

    “Hog Sameach!” is another perfectly suited language gem along the same lines as Justin Gray’s “Bot Mitzvah.” Oy vey. How can anyone hope to beat wordplay like that? And so early in the contest!

    • Adrian Storisteanu 00:08h, 09 September Reply

      : – )

  • Dale Stout 06:39h, 12 September Reply

    You reap what you sow.

  • Dale Stout 06:40h, 12 September Reply

    Don’t cast your Perlman before swine.

  • Dale Stout 06:41h, 12 September Reply

    Oinky vey.

  • Dale Stout 06:50h, 12 September Reply

    What’s shakin bakin?

  • Dale Stout 06:52h, 12 September Reply

    Porque, pig?

  • Adrian Storisteanu 15:48h, 12 September Reply

    “Also, the bacon thing is out.”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 16:36h, 12 September Reply

      “Also, the bacon thing is out, now.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:03h, 12 September Reply

    To Dale Stout, I for one love your entries, all of them. I can just hear Mel Blanc voicing, “Porque,, pig?” with his characteristic stutter. I wonder if you had him in mind. No matter. Your sentences are gems. Thanks for making the site sparkle.

    • Dale Stout 08:33h, 13 September Reply

      Hi Gerald, I did think of Porky Pig. But that’s not all, folks. I also thought of that old Parkay margarine ad, as Porque sounds like Porky a little bit. Thanks

  • Dale Stout 08:34h, 13 September Reply

    Who’s your head cheese?

  • Dale Stout 08:35h, 13 September Reply

    Save the squeal for the veal.

  • Dale Stout 08:41h, 13 September Reply

    I’m kosher, no matter how you slice it.

  • Dale Stout 08:43h, 13 September Reply

    I am a bit of a hambone.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:33h, 13 September Reply

    To Dale Stout–Charles Dickens has often been criticized for all the coincidences in his novels, but maybe he was on to something. In today’s Wall Street Journal, there just happens to be a neat article on page A13 headlined “It Started with a Pig,” all about the creation of the Porky Pig Looney Tunes cartoons in the mid 1930s in order to capitalize on the success of Walt Disney. I think it’s well worth reading. I’d send you the page, but it would be easier for you to look at the paper in any library if you missed it today. Keep your outrageous captions coming!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:03h, 13 September Reply

    “You asked how I became a rabbi? Well, I was one of the original three little pigs–the smart one who built his house out of brick so that the wolf couldn’t blow it down. My brothers always used to laugh at me; one became an actor who wants to play Ham-let, the other a politician who likes to propose pork barrel legislation. I studied the Tal-mud, and here I am, one of the chosen, trying to talk you out of eating the treife in this trough.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:42h, 15 September Reply

    “You shouldn’t be eating that treif in the trough.”

    (In the interest of economy, this would be the Reader’s Digest condensation of the previous entry.)

  • Dale Stout 00:46h, 16 September Reply

    Hillary RodHam, What Happened?

  • Stephen Nadler 20:18h, 17 September Reply

    “Kosher style my rump.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 08:50h, 18 September Reply

    “Oynk? What are you saying?!”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 08:57h, 18 September Reply

      “’Oynk’? What are you saying?!”

  • NormalNobody 01:03h, 19 September Reply

    Great, now I’m existentially conflicted.

  • Judy Lebow 12:43h, 23 September Reply

    Don’t tell me we’re having this chazerei again!

  • Robert Einziger 16:53h, 23 September Reply

    1- Did you check with the Rabbi to see if that slop is Kosher?

    2- Now that I wear a kippah and have payas will they consider me kosher?

  • Karen Milstein 00:51h, 24 September Reply

    I know I don’t look Jewish.

  • Jim Gorman 11:32h, 24 September Reply

    “Since the Catholics started eating meat on Fridays, that’s since when!”

    • Jim Gorman 12:17h, 24 September Reply

      or maybe . . .
      “Since when? Since the Catholics started eating meat on Fridays, that’s since when!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:53h, 24 September Reply

    “”What’s it taste like? I’ve always envied those who could enjoy all the delicacies that I was always forbidden to eat.”

  • Stephen Nadler 01:40h, 25 September Reply

    “And this you call assimilation?”

  • Martin Schechter 23:34h, 25 September Reply

    ”Do you always have to be such a chaza?”

  • Alyssa Gray 15:13h, 26 September Reply

    Ugh, I always forget what berakhah to make.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:35h, 27 September Reply

    “Unfortunately, I never had a bar mitzvah because no talmudic scholar could figure out how to translate 13 into pig years.”

  • Alan LaPayover 15:08h, 28 September Reply

    You know that’s not kosher, don’t you?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:10h, 28 September Reply

    “I’d love to get married, but for some reason none of the females from the Jewish Orthodox dating sites ever get back to me.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:41h, 02 October Reply

    “There’s an app that can
    Play a game of chess,
    There’s an app that acts
    Like a GPS,

    But, alas, there’s none
    That can help me now
    In my desperate search
    For a sweet frum sow.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 00:05h, 03 October Reply

    “I checked with the OU. The food is OK, but the pan it’s in was never kashered, so I can’t eat with you.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 08:46h, 03 October Reply

    “The most difficult thing for me is getting my tefillin on in the mornings.”

  • David A Sacks 14:41h, 05 October Reply

    ”It may be gluten-free, but the mashgiach says it’s treif”

  • Stephen Nadler 10:21h, 06 October Reply

    “Never mix meat slop and dairy slop.”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 13:48h, 06 October Reply

      But, to paraphrase a well-known New Yorker cartoon (or two):

      “I say slop is slop, and I say the hell with it.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:11h, 07 October Reply

    “You go to a Reform synagogue , so you can eat anything you want, but my Orthodox rabbi only allows me to eat slop that’s strictly kosher.”

    • Sandy Levine 10:28h, 08 October Reply

      Oops. Posted my comment without reading the others. Looks like I stole yours, but I hadn’t read it first.

  • Sandy Levine 10:26h, 08 October Reply

    Do you know if this slop is hechshered?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:22h, 08 October Reply

    To Sandy Levine: Don’t know whom you’re addressing because your comment never seems to have been posted, but please see that we all take from each other, all contributions being variations on an almost musical theme. The people here are very creative and very nice. Please resubmit the comment which never appeared, in addition to any others that occur to you. Thanks.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:42h, 08 October Reply

    To Adrian S: This afternoon it came to me, the caption you might have been referring to in your October 6 post, the New Yorker cartoon from, I believe, the 20’s or 30’s involving a mother trying to coax her daughter into finishing her supper by saying, “It’s broccoli, dear.” And the little girl replies, “I say it’s broccoli and I say the hell with it.”

    Yes? Best!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:00h, 08 October Reply

    Forgive my error. The mother says, “It’s SPINACH, dear,” and that’s when the little girl offers her classic response.

  • Adrian Storisteanu 01:21h, 09 October Reply

    Yes. See that cartoon, and a few variations, at the by searching the exact phrase “and I say the hell with it”.

  • steven lewis 14:37h, 09 October Reply

    “That’s right, pig food in Yiddish is chazzerai”!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:39h, 09 October Reply

    Thanks for the link, which I wasn’t aware of. Remember that old saw about the futility of beating a dead horse? I think we’re just about done with this dead cartoon. And I say the hell with it.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:49h, 09 October Reply

    By “dead cartoon” I meant the one from the 20’s, not the current one, which still offers possibilities.

    • Adrian Storisteanu 16:27h, 09 October Reply

      : – )

  • Stephen Nadler 18:18h, 10 October Reply

    “Why don’t you come over for a real Shabbos dinner?”

  • Leon Gottlieb 20:11h, 10 October Reply

    This way, I won’t end up as bacon.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:07h, 10 October Reply

    To Leon Gottlieb: Hilarious! Just when I thought that we’d exhausted most possibilities, your line turns the picture completely around and presents a new view, that our farmyard friend’s religious affiliation may be only a ploy to keep himself together for as long as possible. (We Jews have often been tricksters anyway in order to survive.) At any rate, your home run sailed cleanly over the right field fence and of course you’re more than welcome to take another swing. MANY thanks for the caption.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:05h, 10 October Reply

    “Some years ago I tried to hide the fact that I’m Jewish, but–wouldn’t you know–one of my so-called friends squealed on me.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:12h, 10 October Reply

    “The farmer’s name here is Abraham. He keeps calling me Isaac and suggesting that I go on a journey with him. Should I be worried?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:24h, 10 October Reply

    “My name’s really Paddy O’Leary, but if my cover gets blown, they’ll take away my kosher seal and I’ll be served at breakfast with fresh scrambled eggs.”

    (Idea: Leon Gottlieb)

  • Louise Baum 19:16h, 12 October Reply

    You big chazzar!!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:59h, 13 October Reply

    “When I was but a wee small pig,
    My mom taught me an Irish jig
    I’d love to dance the whole day through.
    Who knew one day I’d study Torah,
    Talmud, Mishnah, dance the hora,
    And turn into a model Jew?”

    (Idea: Leon Gottlieb)

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:20h, 13 October Reply

    “I consulted all the Talmudic sages , but I still can’t find out where to properly wrap my tefillin.”

  • Stephen Nadler 23:18h, 15 October Reply

    “Do you know when I’ll eat that? When people fly!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 08:53h, 20 October Reply

    “I’m very embarrassed to have to admit this, but I just found out that Harvey Weinstein is one of my relatives.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 09:21h, 20 October Reply

    “Remember the old nursery rhyme? Well, this is the true story:
    One little piggie went to market,
    One little piggie stayed home,
    One little piggie had roast beef,
    One little piggie had none,
    And this little piggie cried, ‘Baruch Hashem! Baruch Hashem! Baruch Hashem!’
    All the way home.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:09h, 03 November Reply

    “When I stubbornly insisted on holding on to my dream of becoming Jewish, even my closest friends said that I was being pig-headed.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:54h, 09 November Reply


    While we wait for the next cartoon, consider this:
    Wife to husband: “You forgot our anniversary again.”
    Husband: “What can I do to make up for it?”
    Wife: “When I look out at the driveway tomorrow, I want to see something that when you put your foot on it goes from zero to 200 in less than a minute.”
    Next morning, wife looks out at driveway and confusedly sees not a car but a medium-size box.
    She opens it to find … a digital bathroom scale.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:53h, 29 November Reply


    “Menachem, you promised your father and me at your bar mitzvah that you would no longer get into so many fights. Now invite your friend home for a glass of tea and some sponge cake and I know that you’ll both be able to settle your differences peacefully.”

  • marvin sager 11:47h, 30 November Reply

    Dortn iz gut vu mir zaynen nit.

  • Joshua Rokach 15:27h, 30 November Reply

    “You forgot your GPS.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:25h, 30 November Reply

    “When you’re finished, wash your hands.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:49h, 30 November Reply

    “I came over to find out what you want for supper tonight.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:50h, 30 November Reply

    “If you need any help, call me.”

  • George Relles 17:01h, 30 November Reply

    Hey der supermench,, have I got a goil for you!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:11h, 30 November Reply

    “Be back by eleven. You know how I worry.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 18:48h, 30 November Reply

    “Do I know her?”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 18:52h, 30 November Reply

    “Why don’t you introduce us?”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 18:55h, 30 November Reply

    “I just washed that cape.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 19:00h, 30 November Reply

    “The Golem it is not.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 19:05h, 30 November Reply

    “Did you take your vitamins?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:37h, 30 November Reply

    “On your way home from work tonight, please remember to pick up some onion rolls and a quart of milk.”

  • wendy lee klenetsky 20:41h, 30 November Reply

    “Don’t worry.. You’re in the sequel!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:54h, 30 November Reply

    “It’s stupid for you to fight with him simply because he laughed at you for still living at home at your age.”

  • Linda Poindexter 10:20h, 01 December Reply

    “It’s time for dinner, but I see you ARE dinner.”

  • Linda Poindexter 12:28h, 01 December Reply

    “Remember…play nicely or you’re grounded.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:31h, 01 December Reply

    “What does this meshugana want? I only stopped off at this planet to refill my gas tank.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:42h, 01 December Reply

    “Why is this meshugana attacking me? I only came to this planet to refuel my ship.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 14:41h, 01 December Reply

    “Be careful with your hands. You have delicate hands.”

  • Richard James Wolf 16:41h, 01 December Reply

    “I’m not being pessimistic about the outcome, but are you wearing clean underwear?”

    • Dale Stout 12:41h, 03 December Reply

      I thought of something similar: “If something happens, I hope you’re wearing clean spandex.”

  • James Stern 20:12h, 01 December Reply

    For this you went to college?

  • Adrian Storisteanu 07:21h, 02 December Reply

    “Maybe he’s not so good with words like you are.”

  • Sarah Oaks 11:48h, 02 December Reply

    Finish up already! We have guests coming for Sabbat!

  • Dale Stout 12:38h, 03 December Reply

    I don’t care if you’re busy, you should still call .

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:22h, 03 December Reply

    “Tell me, why are you wearing your underwear pants on the outside?”

    (Inspired by Richard James Wolf’s caption)

  • Adrian Storisteanu 15:21h, 04 December Reply

    “Were you discussing politics again?”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 13:30h, 05 December Reply

      Or maybe she’s addressing both:
      “Were you two discussing politics again?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 09:39h, 06 December Reply

    “Keep at it, son. It’s time to defeat the yetzer hara once and for all.”

  • Lauren Krieger 17:50h, 07 December Reply

    I told you to become a doctor!

  • Mark Shor 19:11h, 07 December Reply

    Enough with the playing already, we need you for a minyan.

  • Adrian Storisteanu 10:28h, 08 December Reply

    “And would it kill big Supermensch to drop by, once in a while?”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 10:31h, 08 December Reply

    “And why Super-man? What was wrong with Schlutz-man??”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:11h, 08 December Reply

    Why Superman?
    Birth name: Kal-El (on the planet Krypton).
    Father’s name: Jor-El.
    El is one of the names of the God of Israel.
    So who says Superman isn’t Jewish?
    (If so, he probably had his bar-mitzvah at Temple Beth El right here on Earth.)

    • Adrian Storisteanu 14:32h, 08 December Reply

      He’s Jewish alright, just changed his name for business purposes (to the chagrin of his mother)…

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:07h, 08 December Reply

    Mr. S,
    Actually, there was an article in the Forward some years ago giving reasons for Superman’s being Jewish, among them being a statement from Jerry Siegel that part of the inspiration for Superman came from Samson in the Old Testament. Also, like the tale of Moses put into a basket by his mother to save him from the Egyptians, his parents put him into a spaceship to save him from an exploding planet. Strong as the Golem, living as an alien on Earth, trying to assimilate yet weakened by a fragment of his native planet, Superman tries to repair the broken vessel of his true home by acts of tikkun olam. A true example of the soul in Diaspora! I’m sure there’s more, but you get the idea. Superman’s creators were themselves two Jewish guys non-assertive and meek who projected their own dreams of mastery onto the character they created.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:02h, 08 December Reply


  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:34h, 09 December Reply

    Well, the holidays are almost here, bringing to mind one of my favorite cartoons, ironically one not needing any caption at all. Picture many automobile mechanics busily working on the cars in a large auto repair garage. In the front of the garage is a tremendous sign which says “MERRY CHRISTMAS.” And right underneath that greeting are the words–“SECOND NOTICE!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:17h, 10 December Reply

    Mr. S, The best book I’ve read about the creators of Superman and the beginning of the entire comic book industry is “Men of Tomorrow: Geeks, Gangsters and the Birth of the Comic Book” by Gerard Jones, published by Basic Books in 2004. (By the way, Joe Shuster, Superman’s artist, came from Toronto. Maybe you might lobby to get a statue erected, or even a plaque put up, in his honor???) Thanks.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:31h, 10 December Reply

    Thanks again. (I seem to keep owing you thanks.) I like to learn new things. The list mentioned that the Daily Planet was modeled on the Toronto Star, the newspaper that Joe Shuster delivered as a kid. Ironically, the original newspaper that Clark Kent worked for when the strip was first introduced WAS the Daily Star, only later in 1939, I believe, changed to the Daily Planet. I also hadn’t known that the movie Hollywoodland had Ben Affleck playing out the life of George Reeves (the TV Superman of the 50’s). I’ll try to find it. I guess that we’ve seen two comedowns, then, with a star becoming a mere planet and with Affleck going from portraying the man who portrayed the Man of Steel to now portraying the less powerful Batman in his latest roles. (P.S. Will I be able to blame you for that cold Canadian air that will be coming down into the Mid-Atlantic states this winter?)

    • Adrian Storisteanu 15:54h, 10 December Reply

      I’ve been always blamed for so many things… … : – )

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:45h, 10 December Reply

    Mr. S,

    At least you were willing to shoulder the blame. I had thought you’d try to get off the hook by blaming any cold weather that reaches the U.S. on an Arctic blast passing through and having nothing to do with Canada. I guess I’ll just have to forget about blaming anybody and just get a warmer coat. Anyway, keep the captions coming (how’s that for alliteration?).

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:25h, 11 December Reply

    “You got a call from a sponsor offering a million dollars for a rematch.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:39h, 12 December Reply

    “You guys should make it a bit more realistic, or else the kids you’re scheduled to entertain next week at that very fancy bar mitzvah will be bored.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:46h, 12 December Reply

    “You guys should make it a bit more realistic, or else the kids you’re scheduled to entertain next week at that very fancy bar mitzvah party will be bored.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 19:52h, 13 December Reply

    “His mother called. She said to keep him busy until she can get here to fly him home.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:35h, 13 December Reply

    “President Trump just tweeted that this attack would never have happened if his immigration policy had been in effect.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 09:51h, 14 December Reply

    “President Trump just tweeted that this creature would never have gotten into the United States if his immigration policy had been in place.”

  • Dale Stout 07:13h, 15 December Reply

    Hurry up, we have to move the Embassy to Jeruselum.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:22h, 16 December Reply

    “I came down to remind you not to take too long. I’ll be lighting the Shabbos candles in a half hour.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:42h, 16 December Reply

    “Aargh! Of all the planets in all the solar systems in all the galaxies, I had to land on this one.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:51h, 17 December Reply

    Mr. S, I had been sure that I would hear from you regarding the previous caption, pointing out that I’d adapted (stolen?) it from Rick’s famous speech in “Casablanca” (“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine …”) But so far, silence from Toronto. Could that mean you’re not a Bogart Fan???

    • Adrian Storisteanu 18:57h, 17 December Reply

      Interesting trip back in time (even Superman managed that once). I relished the reference (and smiled, of course, just didn’t click on “Submit”). : – )

  • Stephen Nadler 21:39h, 17 December Reply

    “Don’t lay a finger on him! He’s Marvel; we’re DC.”

  • Stephen Nadler 21:51h, 17 December Reply

    “Pay attention! Did I say to hit him in the tentacles?”

  • Justin Gray 22:56h, 17 December Reply

    “Hold that pose! It’s a great J-date profile picture!”

  • Justin Gray 23:04h, 17 December Reply

    “Let me get a hold of Wonder Woman for you. You know I play mahj with her grandmother.”

    • Justin Gray 10:56h, 27 December Reply

      After reading it sounds better: “I’ll call Wonder Woman for help. You know I play Mahj with her grandmother!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:40h, 18 December Reply

    To Stephen Nadler: Your return should have been preceded by Wagner’s expansive Prelude to Die Meistersinger. I might be getting into trouble mentioning Wagner on a site sponsored by a Jewish publication, but both your captions, in my view, would merit such an introduction. They are a fresh and funny take on a cartoon that’s been mined almost exhaustedly. Coincidentally, The New York Times Book Review this week, highlighted a new book, “Slugfest: inside the Epic Fifty-Year Battle Between Marvel and DC” by Reed Tucker. The conclusion seems to be that DC has tended to be stodgy while Marvel has tended to be more daring, more willing to take risks. Anyway, the real purpose of these lines is to warmly welcome you back. I bet one of your captions wins.

    • Stephen Nadler 01:50h, 19 December Reply

      I was never gone, Gerald, was I? It just took me a couple of weeks to polish these two lines. Anyway, I try to stay humble, so next time you can introduce me with Aaron Copland’s Fanfare for the Common Man instead of the Wagner. As for your betting on my captions, I would prefer to proclaim my underdog status. Nothing kills a caption’s chances like calling it a sure thing.

  • Debbie 17:46h, 19 December Reply

    Make sure you are home by 9.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:50h, 19 December Reply

    And people who study the stock market know that it”s often time to sell whenever everybody else thinks that it’s time to buy–called the sentiment indicator of contrary opinion. On another tack, I’ve often found that people stumble onto success and then are complimented and try to duplicate what it was that they did right and then look stilted and artificial, like the child praised for her gracefulness who then becomes self-consciously awkward. So in a paradoxical way success can breed failure and, conversely, the sense of improvising and the feeling that there’s nothing to lose can lead to wild success, like the very, very long-running musical “The Fantasticks,” originally created on a lark for a workshop or even the movie “Casablanca” which was done over a short time and made up as it went along, or even “Superman,” which was initially criticized and rejected as being unbelievable and immature (who would accept the premise that a set of eyeglasses and the combing up of a forehead curl and a change of voice could alter an identity, and on and on. Well, whatever you do certainly works, making me wonder if Zen training has contributed to your hitting the target almost every time (“Zen and the Art of Archery” is a famous book). Even though you never left, it’s good to have you back: another wonderful paradox!

    • Stephen Nadler 02:49h, 20 December Reply

      Well said, Gerald. I like the way your musing on captions leads to a discussion of how successful art is created! Certainly not all improvisation rises to the level of art, and most art is not created solely from happenstance.

      I’m delighted that you think I might have Zen training. Although I’ve read Robert M. Pirsig’s book, my approach to captions is simply to do a lot of rewriting.

  • Jim Gorman 23:46h, 19 December Reply

    “Donald! Can you explain why Jaffa needs to be relocated at this particular point in time?”

  • Peter Schumacher 16:18h, 20 December Reply

    “Your mother will have something to say about this!”

  • Madeline Lipton 20:08h, 20 December Reply

    Pardon me, would you guys have any Grey Poupon around?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:35h, 23 December Reply

    “Keep on practicing, boys. You’ve both been booked to perform in Jerusalem as part of its Purim celebration.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:38h, 24 December Reply

    “Go easy on him. He’s just upset about the new tax bill passed by Congress.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:47h, 24 December Reply

    “The latest odds from Las Vegas are 2 to 1 that you’ll defeat him sometime within the next ten years.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 19:43h, 25 December Reply

    As we wait like patrons in a restaurant for our next cartoon to be served, have you heard about the self-proclaimed ladies’ man who walks into a bar to join a drinking buddy? “Wow! Did you hear that?” he exclaims as he sits down. “As I passed those three beautiful women at the table in the front, one of them looked at me, and I distinctly heard her rate me a NINE.”

    “I wouldn’t be so pleased with myself if I were you, ” his friend retorted. “She’s GERMAN.”

    A Happy and Healthful Secular New Year to All!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:34h, 27 December Reply

    “Don’t you remember that I taught you to lead with your left and to always avoid clinches?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:44h, 27 December Reply

    “Maybe she’s being friendly and just wants a hug.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:38h, 30 December Reply

    To Stephen Nadler,: On reflection I have to disagree with you when you claim no Zen training. The Zen approach is to embrace every situation and wait until it sinks completely into you and produces an insight. Let me put it this way: The mantra in the busy West is, “Don’t just stand there, do something!” while the Zen approach might call for, “Don’t just do something, stand there!” I remember a long time ago attending a lecture by Dr. D.T. Suzuki at the Buddhist Academy on Riverside Drive in Manhattan. He was the one who really brought Zen to the West, where it was picked up and then transmitted to the rest of us by people like Gary Snyder, Philip Kapleau, Allen Ginsberg and others. Dr. Suzuki was unflappable. He once was aboard a flimsy twin-engine plane as it rattled around in a huge storm, and he calmly closed his eyes and went to sleep while everyone else was frozen with fear. On another instance he was asked to speak before a world congress of religions, in England, I believe. While everyone else spoke pompously about their world views, Dr.Suzuki narrowed his scope and talked about his little house and garden in Japan and brought the house down with his utter simplicity At the lecture I attended, Dr. Suzuki spoke slowly, with long pauses between phrases, as if he confidently had all the time in the world. Afterward, someone asked him a question and he closed his eyes. The minutes ticked by. The audience began to get restless. Then he answered, the question having completely seeped into him. From him I learned that spontaneity does not have to mean speed. I’ve gone on too long, but whether you like it or not, whether in a formal or informal way, you are a good student of Zen. Happy New Year, and i look forward to many wonderful captions, presently unborn, in 2018.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:04h, 12 January Reply

    To Stephen Nadler: Can’t resist pushing my point that people who have nothing to lose are the ones who are most free to soar to heights of creativity and accomplishment while those who are rigid and need to follow a pattern are those who can’t reach these heights. They’re imitators. Case in point: President Donald J. Trump. He reassured his wife that there was no chance that he would b e elected, that he was running to increase his visibility, which would help him in future business dealings. When he did finally win, Melania reportedly burst into tears. Hillary, on the other hand, was as rigid as could be on the campaign trail, giving her canned speeches and acting as she had already won the election.

    Have I convinced you? Probably not. But it’s been fun trying, and this post will probably be taken down soon with the arrival of the new cartoon.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:19h, 18 January Reply

    “I told you that I got the flu shot yesterday. There’s nothing to be worried about.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:32h, 18 January Reply

    To Stephen Nadler: There’s a stock exchange, a commodity exchange, even an options exchange. Why is there no caption exchange? If there were, I could’ve cleaned up on my bet that one of your captions would make the final cut. Congratulations to you and of course to Messrs. Storisteanu and Stout. And may I say that I told you so.

    • Dale Stout 21:42h, 18 January Reply

      Thank you :^)

    • Adrian Storisteanu 10:11h, 19 January Reply

      Thank you… 8-|

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:42h, 18 January Reply

    “I told you that I got the flu shot two weeks ago. There’s nothing to be worried about.”

    (This is a revision of the previous. I’d forgotten that it takes about TWO WEEKS for the shot to become effective. Sorry.)

  • Dale Stout 21:44h, 18 January Reply

    If I turn up the heat, will you?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:44h, 18 January Reply

    To Dale Stout: If I really COULD place a bet, I’d bet that in two months you’ll win again for the above. It cleanly hits the target, presenting a real hurdle for the rest of us to follow. Thanks (I think).

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:51h, 18 January Reply

    “All right, a Jewish bride is SUPPOSED to cover her face. But we’ve been married for ten years now.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:19h, 18 January Reply

    “You know, after all these years, I’m still not sure that you’re the same woman I married.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 09:35h, 19 January Reply

    “When do you think you’ll FINALLY finish reading ‘The Newlywed’s Guide to Physical Intimacy’?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:46h, 19 January Reply

    “Of course I married you for your inner beauty, but I’d like to see the other, too.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:48h, 19 January Reply

    “I simply can’t accept your interpretation of tzniut.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:02h, 19 January Reply

    “This might be your idea of tzniut, but it’s certainly not mine.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 09:38h, 20 January Reply

    “Our trip to Antarctica is scheduled to take place two years from now. Don’t you think you’ve prepared for it a little early?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 10:15h, 20 January Reply

    To Dale Stout: the more I look at your caption posted January 18, the more I like it. It’s sparkling and funny on so many levels. Going back to the PREVIOUS contest, all three winning captions were deserving. Whoever picked them was really spot-on, unlike the judges at the New Yorker caption contest, whose choices are sometimes questionable.) What I really want to say is that your star shines very brightly here. Thanks for the pleasure your entries usually provide.

  • Richard James Wolf 13:31h, 20 January Reply

    “I didn’t mean to call you frigid.”

  • Richard James Wolf 13:33h, 20 January Reply

    “I’ll wait.”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 23:50h, 20 January Reply

      Possible variation, if I may:

      “I’ll wait for springtime.”

      • Richard James Wolf 10:25h, 23 January Reply


        • Adrian Storisteanu 07:00h, 24 January Reply

          Only an alternative. Nothing beats the perfect concentration of sarcasm, resignation, etc. in “I’ll wait.”…

  • Richard James Wolf 13:34h, 20 January Reply

    “No, I said the house was a little frigid.”

  • Richard James Wolf 13:35h, 20 January Reply

    “So, whatcha readin’?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:45h, 21 January Reply

    Mr. A.S.: Preparing a caption is, in a way, like preparing a meal. Both have to be seasoned properly. And the season that the poor guy in bed is certainly looking forward to, as you so cleverly stated, is spring. Maybe then, he hopes, his lady friend will turn over a new leaf and put aside her book and other obstacles to a relationship.

    (Disclaimer: Before writing this, I checked with my lawyer, and he assured me that I couldn’t be sued over an awful pun or two. P.S.: Glad you finally joined the fray.)

    • Adrian Storisteanu 20:00h, 22 January Reply

      I’ve been pun-icking myself a bit lately…

  • Adrian Storisteanu 16:25h, 21 January Reply

    “You used to give me just the cold shoulder once, remember?”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 16:31h, 21 January Reply

    “This marriage is either on ice or on the rocks, bubbale…”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 08:21h, 22 January Reply

    “Still feel that draft?”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 09:53h, 22 January Reply

    “Just shaking, honey, not stirred at all?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:41h, 22 January Reply

    “I can’t believe that I once considered myself lucky to marry the very first Jewish woman to become famous spending years exploring the frigid Arctic Circle.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 09:52h, 23 January Reply

    A small meta-detour, just for fun:

    “Not only you dress ridiculously, did you have to sign the sheets?”

  • marvin sager 17:17h, 23 January Reply

    Is working-up a sweat part of your exercise class, or did you forget to buy Lubricating Jelly?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:11h, 23 January Reply

    A DIGRESSION (Since humor IS the lifeblood of this site)

    There’s this practicing Catholic who hates the fact that people always have so many choices in life. “Decisions, decisions,” he says. “I always make the wrong decision.”

    On this particular morning he gets up and has to make his first choice, whether to get up on the right or left side of his bed. He picks the right and promptly stubs his toe. Then he’s faced with another choice, whether to take a bath or a shower. He picks the shower, only to get scalded when the water suddenly turns very hot.

    Then the telephone rings. It’s his boss, asking him to pay an emergency visit to an out-of-state client. He now has another choice: whether to travel by train or by plane. He picks the plane, and as it leaves the runway, a voice comes over the intercom: “The engines have failed. The engines have failed. We’re going to crash. If you have a patron saint, please ask for help right now.” He looks up, pleadingly: “Saint Francis, Saint Francis, please help me.”

    And a voice comes back: “Which one, Xavier or Assisi?”

  • Fred Kranz 21:50h, 23 January Reply

    “Oh, once upon a time, you didn’t need heat – you were in heat.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 09:16h, 24 January Reply

    “Earth to Mars … Earth to Mars … come in, please … can you hear me?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:58h, 24 January Reply

    “Earth to Mars … Earth to Mars … come in, please …do you read me?”

    (“Read” is perhaps a more appropriate word than my previous “hear,” giving the caption a double meaning in light of the fact that she has a book in her lap and he would like her to pay the same attention to him, too.)

    • Adrian Storisteanu 13:23h, 26 January Reply

      One of them must be surely from Venus?!…

  • Gerald Lebowitz 00:06h, 25 January Reply

    “I knew when I married you that you were a famous Arctic explorer, but I never dreamed that you’d be bringing your work home with you.”

  • Jim Gorman 11:09h, 25 January Reply

    “You win . . . You can plug in the lamp . . . AND the electric blanket.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 11:33h, 25 January Reply

    “Back to nonfiction?”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 23:21h, 25 January Reply


      “Nonfiction again?”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 12:10h, 25 January Reply

    “I think it’s time to give global warming a chance.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 12:12h, 25 January Reply

    “Still thinking of moving to Canada?”

  • Charles Silverstein 13:28h, 25 January Reply

    “Does this mean you’re not in the mood for a Shabbos mitzvah?” (the word not in italics)

  • Stuart J Moskovitz 13:46h, 25 January Reply

    Ok, I get it, you don’t believe in global warming.

  • Joshua Rokach 15:28h, 25 January Reply

    “So you got the part in the Hanukkah play?”

  • Dinah Rokach 16:30h, 25 January Reply

    “Cold shoulder I know, but isn’t this going too far?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:16h, 25 January Reply

    “I signed you up for a speed-reading course, but I don’t know how you’re going to hear the instructor.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:17h, 26 January Reply

    To A.S.: Sorry for this belated response but just saw your January 26 response to my “Earth to Mars” caption suggestion by writing “One of them must be surely from Venus?!” Looking at what you can see of her, do you really picture her from Venus? Venus is someone like Rita Hayworth in that old Cole Porter musical “One touch of Venus,” but she looks more like Mars, the God of War in Roman mythology. She certainly scares ME. Indeed, now that you bring it up, I’m not even sure that she IS a she, which of course opens the door to many more possibilities for captions. But this is a family magazine and we have to skirt around (no pun intended) certain issues now, I think …

    But your comments and captions are always pertinent and perceptive and much, much appreciated. Thank you again, and sorry for the delay in responding.

    • Adrian Storisteanu 20:32h, 26 January Reply

      I was just thinking of the classic “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”, which — as far as I understand — suggests eternal conflict (oy)… (And yes, I believe it’s the guy who’s somewhat overdressed.)

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:04h, 26 January Reply

    To A.S., you’re right. You’ve done it again! That’s why I feel that it’s a privilege to post and learn from so many perceptive people here. Why hadn’t I seen it as clearly as you did? The key to the cartoon may really be that the person at the LEFT is the female and the one covered up on the right is the male, a trick of the cartoonist to divert us, similar to the operator of the three-card monte scam on the streets of New York City, in which the operator swiftly transfers a pea from under one walnut shell to another and makes you incorrectly think that you know where it is. The female, to repeat, is the one in pajamas, not the other way around–not so hard to see in this age where distinguishing sexual characteristics are getting more blurred. I’ve seen many photographs of faces, for example, not easily identifiable as either male or female.

    Now it’s your turn. Do you–or anybody else here– want to take the lead in creating a caption based on this new paradigm????? Thanks again for another one of your great insights.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:12h, 26 January Reply

    “I should never have listened to my mother. She was the one who told me to only marry a man who spends a lot of time studying Torah.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:00h, 26 January Reply

    I wrote my comment to A.S. too fast. I meant three-card monte-type scam. The latter is done with playing cards, while the scams I’ve seen most have involved shells and small objects like peas and pebbles. But the principle is the same. You can’t win unless the operator wants to lure you into placing bigger and bigger bets.

  • Adrian Storisteanu 14:16h, 01 February Reply

    “Ready when you are.”

  • John Robertson 15:03h, 01 February Reply

    Is it me or is it warm in here?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:57h, 03 February Reply

    “I guess what I’ve learned from this relationship is that while you can take a person out of the cold, you can’t always take the cold out of the person.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 19:48h, 07 February Reply

    “We could at least text each other.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 13:33h, 08 February Reply

    “Are you reading a chilling and thoroughly gripping tale which can be, at the same time, heartfelt and graceful?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:18h, 08 February Reply

    Dear A.S. , the ANSWER to the above inquiry might possibly be something like:

    ” If you really want to know, I’m almost finished reading ‘Tantric Sex for Beginners,’ so I hope that you don’t get impatient and leave.””

    • Adrian Storisteanu 16:26h, 08 February Reply

      : – )

  • morty kay 20:17h, 11 February Reply

    Your mother did say you had a warm heart

  • Jim Gorman 11:21h, 13 February Reply

    “Just turn out the light and go to sleep. You’ve got ten more months to come up with a caption. Right above us it says ‘Submit a caption for this cartoon by December 20th by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!’. Plenty of time !”

  • Dale Stout 06:12h, 16 February Reply

    Did you remember to feed the sled dogs?

  • Dale Stout 06:19h, 16 February Reply

    Goldie, are you coldie?

  • Dale Dtout 06:23h, 16 February Reply

    Could you turn off the northern lights?

  • Dale Stout 06:26h, 16 February Reply

    Could we please turn off the northern lights?

  • Dale Stout 06:42h, 16 February Reply

    Mother called to say we should enjoy our honeymoon.

  • Stephen Nadler 01:01h, 18 February Reply

    “At least tonight it’s not a headache.”

  • Stephen Nadler 09:42h, 18 February Reply

    “This is Miami, dammit!”

  • Stephen Nadler 10:16h, 18 February Reply

    “I never knew Fifty Shades had a Zamboni scene.”

  • Stephen Nadler 11:33h, 18 February Reply

    “Almost done?”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 11:44h, 18 February Reply

    “6° of separation?”

  • Stephen Nadler 11:52h, 18 February Reply

    “What does that mean, ‘Winter is coming’?”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 12:50h, 18 February Reply

      Hah-ha, fits their apparent game of throes…

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:00h, 18 February Reply

    “It’s true, you don’t have to listen to me, but Al Gore’s documentary won an Oscar!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:08h, 18 February Reply

    “I don’t think that we’re on the same page of our relationship.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:11h, 18 February Reply

    “Maybe it’s time for you to turn over a new leaf.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:25h, 18 February Reply

    “Sunrise, sunset
    Sunrise, sunset
    Swiftly flow the days.

    Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers,
    Frostbitten even as we gaze.”

    (Apologies to Sheldon Harnick

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:47h, 18 February Reply

    “The great irony, of course, is that I MET you in a bookstore.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:30h, 19 February Reply

    To A.S.: Go to, the site of the Jewish Telegraph Agency, and read the February 16, 2018, article by Marcy Oster entitled “DC Comics’ Newest Writer Is Poised to Make Superman Jewish Again.” Maybe, in a way, life will imitate art and your Schultz-man will become a reality of sorts. Best wishes, as always!

    • Adrian Storisteanu 17:23h, 19 February Reply

      Very interesting! A hazara be-t’shuva of sorts… : – )

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:32h, 19 February Reply

    A.S., tell us when you receive your first royalty check from DC. I always find it ironic to read that Superman has always been associated with “truth, justice and the American way” in light of the screwing of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster by Jack Liebowitz (no relation, thank G-d) at National Periodical Publications in 1938 and their firing when the boys complained about having lost their rights and being short-changed.
    P.S. Don’t spend all the money you get in one place! : – )

    bought all rights to the character for a paltry sum and later ditched the creators when they complained. C-est la vie.
    P.S. Don’t spend all the money in one place!

    • Adrian Storisteanu 11:10h, 20 February Reply

      When check arrives — a round of drinks on me!…

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:28h, 25 February Reply

    “Are you SURE that you’ll finish reading the whole Megillah by Purim?”

  • Stephen Nadler 22:06h, 25 February Reply

    “Fine. I’ll go to couples therapy!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:55h, 27 February Reply

    To Webmaster:
    If you read this and can respond, would it be possible at the end of each contest for all the previous submissions to be deleted so that we can all start on a clean slate rather than on one crowded with suggested captions for prior contests?
    If there is anyone reading this who disagrees with my suggestion, please express your thoughts. This site is for all of us, so everybody’s opinions always count.
    By the way, thanks to everyone for great submissions always.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:24h, 01 March Reply

    “Happy Purim! As a matter of fact, are you sure that you’re not Magilla Gorilla?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:41h, 03 March Reply

    “I hope they change the cartoon before Passover. I don’t know how much longer I can go on looking at you like this.”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 17:34h, 03 March Reply

      : – )

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:37h, 04 March Reply

    “All right, that’s a really great Purim costume. Now take it off already!”

  • Stephen Nadler 11:25h, 05 March Reply

    I agree. Too much scrolling. I would have no objection though to them being archived elsewhere. #Deletethiscomment

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:10h, 05 March Reply

    To SN: thanks for your very funny comment. When a blackboard is too full, someone has to come along with a good eraser. It seems to me that this site has too many no-longer-relevant captions. I don’t mean to be captious, but to look at things with a fresh view, people need new space. I’ve always been puzzled when I hear people say something like, “I want to have my cake and eat it too.” I always picture a big piece of undigested cake sitting in their stomach, a rather unappealing and unappetizing situation, to say the least. Old Henry David Thoreau would, I’m sure, agree with us if he were here but he too had to move on and make room for others.

    Do you remember “Duffy’s Tavern,” the old radio program “where the elite meet to eat”? Well, maybe there should be a new gathering, where the elite meet to delete. (But I wouldn’t want to delete or dilute your words. Thanks for the humor, as always.)

  • Richard James Wolf 11:43h, 07 March Reply

    Does anyone know when the new caption will appear?

    • Jim Gorman 19:14h, 07 March Reply

      The last date to submit a caption for this cartoon is “December 20”, so I wouldn’t expect to see a new one until sometime after that.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:37h, 07 March Reply

    The people at Moment sometimes fail to update stuff on this site, so the December 20th date that you refer to actually applied to the previous contest; the date for the present contest should’ve been listed as February 20th, always a week or so before the next–March-April in this case–issue is scheduled to appear, although the magazine usually comes out a little later into the first month listed on the cover. The bottom line is that the new cartoon will probably be shown to us on this site either by the end of this week or sometime next week, although this opinion of course comes with no guarantees. Both of you guys submit great stuff, by the way!

  • Richard James Wolf 10:29h, 08 March Reply

    Thanks, as do you! I guess I missed one. The last one I submitted was for the man in bed with his wife reading.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 10:57h, 08 March Reply

    Another indication that the new cartoon is just about here will come from the first page as you log into this site. In the upper-left rectangle under the words “the current issue” will be “Mar/Apr 2018” instead of the months that have passed. And the new last date to submit a caption should/will be April 20. The train is coming. I can almost hear the engine (metaphorically speaking). Thanks and good luck!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:16h, 08 March Reply

    “What do you THINK happens when you plant an Easter egg?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:28h, 08 March Reply

    “You wished for a rabbi? You simply have to learn to speak more clearly!”

  • Dale Stout 08:45h, 09 March Reply

    I love vegetables from the Koshery Store.

  • Richard James Wolf 14:49h, 09 March Reply

    “Trust me Farmer Gabe, you don’t wanna go down this rabbit hole.”

  • Richard James Wolf 16:53h, 09 March Reply

    “Sorry, but what’s up?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:00h, 09 March Reply

    “Now before I make myself at home here, let’s get a couple of things straight. First, you know that you’re not allowed to eat me under the laws of kashrut; and, second, your wife has absolutely no plans to make either herself or you a rabbit fur hat.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:19h, 09 March Reply

    To RJ Wolf: Would you run me out of town on a rail if I suggested tinkering just a little with your caption (which, is, I think, better than all of mine so far) to make it read:

    “Sorry, but what’s up, Doc … besides me?”

    In addition to the wordplay , you’d have, at the very least, created a descendant of Bugs Bunny.

    (I promise from now on not to insert my thoughts into any more of your great submissions.)

  • Don Symons 17:47h, 11 March Reply

    “My ancestors inhabited this burrow for 3500 years.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 19:33h, 11 March Reply

    “Were you expecting maybe the Baal Shem Tov?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:04h, 11 March Reply

    “You’re not thinking of raising the rent on my rent-stabilized rabbit hole, are you?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:20h, 11 March Reply

    “Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail will be up soon. They’re making for you a carrot tzimmes dish to die for.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:44h, 12 March Reply

    If Mel Brooks were riffing on the new cartoon, this might be something he’d write. (I really can’t presume to put words into the mouth of a genius, but it’s too tempting not to try.)

    “Whatever you do, stay away from Mr. McGregor. He hates Jews. He’s the biggest anti-Semite there is. Beatrix Potter doesn’t tell the whole story in her book. It isn’t rabbits that he hates. It’s rabbis. He’s just a lousy speller. Another terrible speller was Louis Pasteur. He was really looking for a cure for rabbis,
    and by mistake he cured rabies. Think about how many things in history happen for the wrong reason. Anyway, don’t go near that garden if you know what’s good for you. You can thank me later. And enjoy the tzimmes when my sisters bring it up.”

  • Dinah Rokach 20:09h, 12 March Reply

    “I already have a mezuzah, thank you.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:15h, 12 March Reply

    To Dinah R: VERY funny caption; the arrow of humor goes straight into the heart before one has a chance to resist, freeing an explosive laugh; such an obvious line yet completely unexpected in this context. You’re GOOD. This should CERTAINLY be a finalist! Thanks for puncturing the balloons of pomposity, including and especially my own. That’s what great humor is supposed to do, and you certainly have succeeded, in spades! Thanks again for the wonderful surprise!

  • Joshua Zev Rokach 09:45h, 13 March Reply

    “You’re planting potatoes for my carrot kugel?”

  • marvin sager 10:54h, 13 March Reply

    Sorry Rabbi, you can’t use me in your magic tricks, because you have the wrong style hat.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:36h, 13 March Reply

    “I came up to ask if you’ll be so kind as to officiate at my wedding. My girlfriend just accepted my proposal, and I presented her with a 14-carrot ring.”

  • Casey 10:51h, 16 March Reply

    “We’re all outta carrots”

  • Casey 10:58h, 16 March Reply

    “Could you plant an extra patch of carrots. We’re breeding like rabbits down here.”

  • Cindy Tebo 17:21h, 17 March Reply

    You’re not Alice!

  • Cindy Tebo 17:23h, 17 March Reply

    I hope those aren’t genetically modified carrot seeds your planting.

  • Stephen Nadler 11:36h, 18 March Reply

    “Why not have an oink-oink here and an oink-oink there?”

  • Stephen Nadler 11:38h, 18 March Reply

    “How come Old MacDonald never wanted borscht?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:27h, 18 March Reply

    “I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date! … Wait a minute! I’m in the wrong cartoon!”

    • Jim Gorman 11:46h, 20 March Reply

      Or perhaps another Lewis Carrol reference:

      “Three questions. One, how can I have another cup of tea if I haven’t had a first? Two, whatever happened to the shiksa from the mix’a? And three, who the hell sat on your hat?”

      Congrats btw to you, Stephen and Richard for last month’s entries.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:39h, 20 March Reply

    To Jim Gorman: Thanks for your kind thoughts. Your words are gold and so mean a lot. They always indicate a mind combining warmth and scholarship and a marvelous sense of humor. Playing to me means more than winning, seeing how high our idea balloons can fly before they drift down, as they eventually must, and your conceits make beautiful patterns against the sky. Thanks again.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 00:04h, 21 March Reply

    To Jim Gorman, again: Coincidentally, I’m now reading a biography of Sokei-an Sasaki, one of the first teachers of Japanese Rinzai Zen in America, who is quoted in conversation with a disciple: “Have you read Alice in Wonderland?” he asks. The disciple answers: “It is a delightful children’s book.” Sokei-an then replies: “I do not consider it simply a book for children. The author possesses insight like a real man of Zen … I use it with my students. Some of them are beginning to make real progress.”

    “Begin at the beginning,” Lewis Carroll’s King says, “and go on till you come to the end; then stop.” (Sort of reminds one of that other Zen teacher, Yogi Berra, who famously said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

    “We’re all mad here,” says the Cheshire cat. “I’m mad. You’re mad.” “How do you know I’m mad?” asks Alice. “You must be,” says the cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.” Reminding me of a guy who once said to me, very confidently, “I’d never have a wife who cheated on me.” “How could you be so sure?” I asked. “Easy,” he told me. “If she cheated on me, she’d no longer be my wife.” How’s that for a sample of the convoluted logic that’s the property of both sages and madmen? (Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.)

    In any case, the poor rabbit in our cartoon koan is clearly out of his element, waiting for us to bail him out. Sorry for this hasty reply, but it gives me the chance to give a really big thank you to Cindy Tebo, whose VERY insightful caption altered the whole path we’re taking. (This site does have a great group of contributors, each one contributing a brick to the house we all try to build every two months.)

  • Adrian Storisteanu 18:32h, 21 March Reply

    “Rabbi?! I was expecting that Alice shiksa.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 18:34h, 21 March Reply

    “Be fruitful and multiply and all that, but some carrots would be nice right now.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 18:37h, 21 March Reply

    “I don’t do Easter, really.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 18:43h, 21 March Reply

    “Rabbit, true, but I’m no chicken.”

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