Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest
Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.
Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!
Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.
Plus: Read interviews with some of our most prolific caption contest contributors here.
Submit a caption for this cartoon by May 15 by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!
Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!
“I don’t think this counts as atonement.”
— Rich Wolf, Westminster, MD
“You’re a real star, David.”
—Dale Stout, Colorado Springs, CO
“I was hoping for a necklace.”
—Harold Sanger, St. Louis, MO
Vote for your favorite! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.
Chuckle at the Winter 2024 winning caption—and see who wrote it!
“It’s usually right there in between the two cranberries.”
—Howie Slomka, Atlanta, GA
How to Submit Your Caption(s)
Submit as a comment below by May 15, 2024. Finalists will appear in the upcoming issue. To vote for the winner of the Spring 2024 contest (see finalists above), use the vote form.
“Shall I call you Moses?”
“Your Mediterranean diet isn’t working!”
“Take two dates and call me in the morning!”
“Your insurance policy does not cover a burial in a pyramid!”
“Would you like your medical report written down on papyrus?”
“Your chariot is parked illegally in front of the hospital!”
“Sorry,but I don’t want to be buried with you.”
“If you want to be helpful,leave a good review on Yelp.”
“Tut, tut.”
Okay, that about wraps it up. Schedule a check-up for 3,000 years from next Thursday.
“Our cafeteria menu for Passover doesn’t serve CAMEL SOUP with MATZO BALLS!”
Ewww, my dyslexia told me at first it was going to be ‘matzo soup and camel b@lls’
Dale,
Try it, you’ll like it!
“I’m honored you’re here but who is paying the bill?”
“Your wife says that you are an electrician.”
“Have some Cobra Juice and call me in the morning.”
Michael, I love a shot of cobra venom in the morning :^)
Dale,
My wife’s coffee jolts me every morning…..It could start or stop a heart.
“Perhaps in Luxor, your medical condition would be described as a BAD CASE of NILE FEVER!”
“And no carbohydrates for the next forty years.” — Adrian Storisteanu, Toronto (who is unable to access the comments)
“You’ll have to fix your food pyramid.”
“Sorry, none of our nurses are related to Nefertiti as you requested!”
To Marv Sager,
Can you tell me what happened to Gerald Lebowitz….I haven’t been on as much…Did I miss something?
Michael,
Everyone on this site misses Gerald Lebowitz! We have not heard from him in over 5 months which has never happened before.
Perhaps he is writing an important book or is traveling on a long cruise. I don’t know of his absence or the absence of others.
To Gerald lebowitz,
If you see this post,let us know your situation.
Congratulations, Howie!
We all miss Gerald
Tut, tut, looks like a sprain.
…Mark, I didn’t steal this one, this time :^)
“Those SCARAB BEETLES in your headdress shouldn’t be moving!”
“Your emergency contact is Nefertiti?”
“I’m sorry but we ask everyone if they want a Do Not Resusitate Order.”
“I’m sorry but we ask everyone if they want a Do Not Resuscitate Order.”
“In the AFTERLIFE, you could be a MOMMY!”
“Your ‘Pyramid Schemes’ finally caught up to you Mr. Tut.”
“So you can’t sleep since your last pyramid scheme fell apart?”
“Okay, that about wraps it up. Schedule a check-up for three thousand years from next Thursday. “
“I’m putting you on a strict natron regime. “
“I’m putting you on a strict natron regime. “
“Okay, that about wraps it up. Schedule a check-up for three thousand years from next Thursday. “
“It’s just one of my fingers.”
“Payment may be in the combination of 20 goats, sheep, and chickens, but no BULL!”
“So you haven’t traveled outside the country?…?…?”
“So you have not traveled outside the U.S.?”
“You remind me of a Sphinx: Thick-headed & smell like a lion!”
“I didn’t say get extra-fries, I said, get more exercise!”
I didn’t say eat extra-fried, I said get more exer-cise!”
“If you are going to continue eating a dozen bagels with cream cheese every day you may need to enlarge the door to your tomb.”
“So you paid $125.00 for the outfit at the museum gift shop?”
“I didn’t recognize your importance without your CROOK & FLAIL!”
Considering your straw innards go back 3000 years ago, you’re doing just fine.
Hope and Pray Gerald is well. Has not been the same here without him.
“Your scheduled meal will be late as your ESCAPED PET CROCODILE ate the cook!”
Sorry it took so long to get this appointment – we are short staffed.
“Allow me to explain everything about carbohydrates.”
“Have you tried climbing the pyramids after building them?”
“It’s called the ‘Yul Brynner Diet’.”
“Trust me: noone is looking at your nemes.”
“May I recommend Cleopatra makeup for your PALE COMPLEXION?”
“I didn’t say extra-fries, I said exercise!”
I’m going to refer you to a carbon dating expert.
It’s just a scratch, I’ll forward this to workman’s comp over at the Luxor?
I bet you make their day over at TSA.
Looks like you’re plagued by boils!
You’ve got a skin disease known as a midrash!
Your health insurance administrator — he gypped ya!
“Besides eating camels, do you smoke them too?”
“You weren’t serious when you said you’re having your favorite physician buried with you…. were you?”
“We removed a LARGE STONE from your kidney and named it ROSETTA!”
“I told you you’d be fine once the bandages were removed.”
“No boils, no lice–and looking much less stressed this year.”
I think you have a problem with your Pharoahmones.
Maybe he needs a CHIROpractor also!
Rabbi, you have an identity problem and i am referring you to a psychiatric hospital
“A sarcophagus coffin can be built for you. Would you like it to be sent to Memphis, TN, or Cairo, IL?”
You have PTSD. No wonder, after all those plagues and your army loss in the Reed Sea!